What you doing mommy?

March 14, 2011 By 11 Comments

I knew we’d get there. It was only a matter of time. For a boy who has such an inquisitive nature anyway, the questioning was surely soon to start.

N: What’s that mommy?

J: It’s a cup of tea, Noah.

N: What you doing mommy?

J: I’m drinking it.

N: Why?

J: I like to drink when I get thirsty.

N: Do you like it, mommy?

J: Yes Noah, it’s very nice?

N: Why?

J: Why what?

N: Why is it nice?

J: Because I, uh, like the taste of it?

N: What does it taste like, mommy?

J: It tastes like fruit.

N: Mommy why does it taste like fruit?

J: Because that’s what they put in the teabag.

N: Where’s the fruit mommy?

J: In the teabag.

N: But where’s the fruit mommy?

J: It’s in the teabag Noah, it’s chopped into lots of pieces and put inside the teabag?

N: Why?

J: To make it taste like fruit.

N: Mommy, it doesn’t taste like fruit.

At this point he hasn’t actually tasted it. And neither have I because it’s stone cold. Again.

But I don’t mind. Again.

 

Filed Under: Noah, Speech

“The Land of Me” Review (Vlog, featuring The Smalls)

February 24, 2011 By 10 Comments

I’ve been reluctant to do reviews lately; PR companies are still getting in touch, but I’m going with “if it doesn’t interest/apply to me or The Smalls, or prove you haven’t read my blog by starting your email with ‘Dear Mocah Bean Mommy’ then you can bet I’m going to say no.”

Out of the blue, the very lovely Harry Jones got in touch with an email that started off “Hi Jay, I love your blog! I have been reading lots of parenting/kids blogs recently and found yours one of the most honest and humorous out there. Watching you, Noah and Isaac reviewing the Zingzilla’s album was hilarious!” Well, I couldn’t say no, could I?

Harry was offering the opportunity to review something called “The Land of Me”, an interactive, digital story book which you play with kids from 2 years old on a mac or PC. On downloading it to my MacBook Pro, my first reaction? Absolutely BRILLIANT. Remember those books you had as a kid where you could literally create your own story by choosing options as you went along? Well this is very much like that. Only a million times better and suitable for tiddlers up to as old as you dare push it. Literally like stepping in to a whole new world where the child has control, there’s so much interactive fun to be had.

One thing that struck me straight away was how this was helping Noah’s speech improve, and how (since doing the vlog) he was starting to recognise more words. Anything that can do that is a WIN in my book. Geeze, I could rave on about this for MONTHS.

But instead? Best just watch the vlog. :D

Interested? (You SHOULD be…) Here’s the info:

It is an interactive, digital story book which you play with young children on a mac or PC. It inspires creativity, conversation, fun and learning. There are six chapters to go adventuring in, covering subjects like Shape, Size and Colour, Rhythm & Dance and Story Time.

You can also discover over 100 free printable activities like masks to make, puzzles to complete and games to play. Unlike any other computer game for children, The Land of Me combines traditional illustration and animation with cutting edge technology to bring you an interactive, captivating learning experience that’s a lot of fun too!

The best thing to do is to check out the video on our homepage and just click ‘watch video’. The first chapter is free to download from our website. We also publish activity books and sell all 6 chapters as a DVD Rom for £29.95.

**This product was sent to me for free on the proviso it was to be reviewed and shown on this blog. And I’m glad I did, because me and The Smalls think it’s awesome.

Filed Under: Isaac, Noah, parenting, Reviewing and reviews and stuff, Speech, vlog Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Dear So and So…Ass Edition

February 11, 2011 By 12 Comments

Dear February

You are kicking my ass. It’s in a good way, and I kind of like it, but it does hurt. Does this make me some kind of masochist? I need to decide if I’m ok with this. I’ll get back to you.

Yours with a sore ass, jay

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear March

You’ll be seeing Isaac into nursery, freeing up two complete days a week. I love you so much right now I would actually have your babies.

Yours, but please don’t touch my ass, jay

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Music Industry

The countdown is on. 9 days til my last ever concert as a cellist. Then it’s all over. After that, I’m pretty sure you can all kiss my ass.

Yours, mooning you, That Person with the stage name I can’t wait to get rid of.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Photography Industry

I am coming for your ass. Wear a cup, too.

Yours with no cello in sight, Jay Mountford Photography

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Flu

Swear to god, I’m gonna punch you in the ass.

That is all.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Awesome Speech Therapist

OMG WE LOVE YOU. Thank you so much for all your help with Noah, we cannot thank you ENOUGH. I’m going to write about our love for you soon. It won’t be stalker-ish AT ALL.

Yours, happy to kiss your ass, Residents of MBM Mansion

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Isaac

Wtf? Will you ever produce a normal nappy? What is UP with that? And the farts in the bath? OMG they make me want to vomit. I love you and all, but Christ above, you really smell sometimes. Please sort that shit out. Literally.

Yours, staying clear of your ass, Mom.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Thinking Slimmer SlimPod

Because of you? My ass is looking AWESOME. Lately I fluctuate between 3-6lbs above my pre-miscarriage weight. A weight I haven’t been at in just over 4 years. AND YOU MADE IT SO EASY. I’ve lost 9lbs in 3 weeks, and I know it’s in no hurry to reappear.  I will also be writing about my love for you soon. Oh yes indeed.

Yours, nowhere-near-skinny-ass-but-loving-it-all-the-same, me.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Readers!

It’s your turn to go and discuss your ass needs. You should do too, it’s actually quite therapeutic. Or you can write letters about something else, if you prefer. How about bacon, since I haven’t had any for AGES? (damn you, flu.)

Click on the badge and go link up over at Miss Kat’s place. And don’t forget to tell her what a nice ass she has.

Filed Under: actual happy times, Dear So and So, Isaac, Musician, neurosis, Noah, parenting, photography, Speech, Speech Delay, weight

How to Video Your Kids. Or Not. (Vlog)

December 6, 2010 By 5 Comments

Why You Should Always Be Wary Working With Kids from jay on Vimeo.

Filed Under: food, Noah, parenting, Speech, Speech Delay, video, vlog, Vlogging

Big Small Steps for a Big Small Boy

September 6, 2010 By 21 Comments

Hi Noah.

I’m starting this post without even having a title in mind, because I’m not sure where it’s going to go. But I do know that it’s most likely going to be about your awesomeness.

You started school today.

That should possibly be followed with that dramatic sound effect DUN DUN DUUHUUHHHHHHHHNNNN!!!

But it’s really not! Because you were awesome. Leading up to today, so many people asked me “are you nervous?” Nah, I was never nervous. “Yeah but, don’t you have a lump in your throat?” You know what? I never did.

Because I was so excited for you. I know you’re going to go on to do great things, and so much of it starts here. So much of it has already started. This, right now, is your spring diving board; the world is your swimming pool waiting for you to dive in. (I sometimes wonder if you’ve already jumped and are halfway to making a big splash.)

In fact, the only thing that left me feeling a bit “out of sorts” today, is that we all missed your very first moment of walking in to school with the other kids, because of your speech therapy appointment being in the morning; you didn’t get to school until 11:30.

Your speech appointment? By the way? You were awesome. Just awesome. You played with the toys, you babbled away. You whizzed through her flashcards at lightening speed, not just identifying what was on the card but babbling extra details that you could see. It wasn’t just a girl on one card; she was a person, a little girl, cuddling her dolly and she was happy.

The speech therapist scribbled furiously on her notepad when you whizzed through those cards. She said you’d caught up on nearly 18 months worth of speech delay in approximately 6 months. She couldn’t get over your development today, and she’s not worried about you at all now. She wants to see you again in 6 months when you turn 3. She says you’ll catch up eventually. And of course I believe her. And she says school will be brilliant for you.

So you know what? That’s just one reason why I wasn’t worried. I totally agree with her.

I took this picture of you on Saturday.

I dug this cello out of the loft for you – it’s a billion sizes too big – you’re only 32 months for crying out loud! But you loved playing on mine, so I thought I’d give you your own. And you played. So very much. In fact, you started singing twinkle twinkle and wheels on the bus, while you played along at the same time. I didn’t think you’d want to, thought you just wanted to play. But you’re full of so much enthusiasm, so much life.

Full of beans, as I described you to people, when you came out of school today.

And so, it’s when you do things like this, that reassures me. I don’t need to worry. Your teachers loved you today, exclaiming your politeness and manners, how well behaved you were. You ate your dinner, you had no accidents (until you got over excited when you saw me at the end of the day!) and you hadn’t cried once.

I took this pic of you only 2 days ago – I was sorting out your uniform and you were so keen to try it on. And today, you were so proud to wear it, wanting to carry your school bag as we walked back to the car, wanting the hood up on your mac as the rain beat down.

I haven’t taken a million pics of you today. I didn’t need to. Because all I need to remember is the insanely big grin on your face when you walked in, and the somehow seemingly bigger grin on your face and your eyes sparkling like diamonds when you came back out.

No camera in the world can capture that.

Filed Under: Noah, School, Speech, Speech Delay, video
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