December 2008 Archives - mocha beanie mummy

Facial Orifice Fluid

December 29, 2008 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

It’s every where. Ev-er-y fricking where. Noah’s face leaks constantly, and I swear, I’m too scared to touch half the burpees lying around because I know they’re plastered in huge boogers and greenies and other disgustingly gross things.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m obviously very sad that he’s poorly, especially as he doesn’t sleep at night either because he spends most of his time coughing through it. That frustrates me so much I guess because I’m helpless; it’s kinda difficult to teach your kid to cough out even more F.O.F. to help clear his throat, ya know?

The best comes when you try to wipe his face, which he obviously depises, and turns his face at the worst possible moment. This usual results in a nice streak of F.O.F. across a cheek, in his ear, and if he’s particularly pissy, through his hair too.

There have been too many times when I’ve commented on the amount of food in Noah’s hair, gone to pick it out and then realised, all too late, what it really is. Mmmmmm…did you request crusty or gloopy today ma’am?

So yes, he’s still very sick, and letting us all know about it. His tantrums are crazy when he has them, and I guess because he’s out of sorts, they seem to be coming thick and fast, quite often out of the blue. He’s also become especially good at being incredibly defiant (NO idea where he gets that from) and then watching you to see what the hell you’re gonna do about it.

Noah: (hey bitch, watch me steal a bauble from your tree, NYAH!)

Me: Noah, no touch.

N: (Yeah I hear ya, I see ya…oh hey look moms! Bauble! In mah hand! YEAH!)

Me: Noah, NO TOUCH.

N: (And looky! See how I got two baubles and now I’mma kick a third one off? Watch me now!)

Me: NOAH!

N: (Hey, what? Ya say summat? …might even pull this punk-ass tree over now…)

And so it goes on. I’m operating zero tolerance in the desperate hope that I do not have a child that grows up into an evil delinquent that leaves turds in the plant pots and steals anything from me on a regular basis (uh, I should add I’m watching Brat Camp at the minute…it’s uh, reassuring?)

It’s harder I think because I want to help him, to give him cuddles and say “all better, mommy loves you”, and all he wants to do is punch his way off my lap and go find his dad/attack the tree/throw a fit/snot everywhere. It’s kinda like he turned into a teenager when I wasn’t looking, which I find quite scary given he’s not even one yet (OMG he is ONE next WEEK people. NEXT. FREAKING. WEEK.)

I admit – I miss my baby, but I hope he sure as hell feels better soon. It’s hard to so desperately want to help someone when there are so many misunderstandings in the way. I’m also running out of burpees and I’m worried we’re going to drown in the gunk.

Filed Under: illness, Noah

Pictures speak a thousand words.

December 27, 2008 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

So for those of you who couldn’t be bothered to read up, here is some of the Christmas holiday in pictures. Enjoy )

Christmas Eve with a cold and round one of gifts. Good start!

I’d like to point out the shiny face, courtesy of excess facial orifice fluid.

Skilled demonstration in opening someone else’s presents.

This was the only time he sat still long enough for me to snap a pic of him with his whizzing car.

Christmas Day was highly amusing

And I swear this WAS stuffed with toys, but they kinda disappeared, making it look really lame. Well, he didn’t even notice anyone. Dude doesn’t even know.

Behold! The Mini Santa and all his Kid Attitude Cuteness!!!

Sometime even Santa likes a cuddle from his mum.

He refused to open this present without using his own specific methods.

We’re quite sure there’s reason, but for a long time, we’ll probably never be sure what that reason was.

Besides, who the hell were we to argue with this kid???!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Christmas Showdown Countdown – Day 3

December 27, 2008 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

Boxing Day – DONE! Everyone present and accounted for.

I planned to do nothing today. I refused to cook. Mr Forman did bacon butties for me and D. I refused to run around after people. M+FIL cooked dinner of goose and a million different veg. In fact, for the day, my biggest effort came in opening the rest of the presents from the family (I can’t believe we opened presents for three days in a row) and making sure Noah didn’t destroy his cousin’s Wii (hey, well, ya know, if you will get it out in front of him…)

It was a great day! Noah sat in a booster chair at the table throughout the whole meal and ate -uh, well, he just ate. And ate. And then I believe he ate some more. He started off with his crackers, then he had a portion of my parsnip soup, then some carrots, parsnip, tasted a sprout, 3 digestive biscuits, 2 smoothie pouches, chunks of apple, a fruit stick, mouthfuls of ice cream and his first taste of chocolate and alsoa chocolate biscuit!! Funnily enough, he licked all the chocolate off the biscuit.

All that was just for lunch. He managed to outlast both his older cousins at the table; it was a sight to behold. I think he was sat at the table, or at least non-stop eating from about 1:30 – 3pm. What I couldn’t understand was how he was still able to eat his tea (slice of toast, crispy puffs, fruit stick and a jelly) that same evening, only 2 hours later. He found it amusing that he spent the evening passing gas and smirked every time he let go of a good one…man I love that kid!

We’ve all had some great gifts (which, if any readers sent any, I thank you very much indeed), all eaten tons of food (and still eating some – ham, egg and chips for tea today, freezer now full of pea and ham soup, duck still in fridge), watched some utterly crap tv and spent far too much time in front of a very large computer screen (yeah, uh, did I mention my iMac? Yeah got one for xmas ya know…).

Noah still exercises his tantrums, we’ve all been feeling quite shit with Cold & Flu v7.4, I’m fast approaching the Land of No Sleep and the house reeeeeeeeeeally needs a tidy up…but it’s been a great couple of days.

I even spoke to Mr L yesterday to thank him for our gifts (car and football for Noah, bottle of rum for D, duvet for me. I’m sure I caught the short-ish straw, but hey it’ll be good for when I finally give up the bed and go to the sofa). He was really pleased to hear from me which was nice, even if it did feel a little odd after so many years. I’ve promised I’d take Noah and D round to see him on Sunday, especially as we all seem to be making an effort. I feel strangely pleased with myself!

Noah’s first Christmas, me and D’s first Christmas as parents, first fully multiple family Christmas – DONE.

Filed Under: christmas

The Christmas Showdown Countdown – Day 2

December 25, 2008 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

Christmas Day – DONE. Boxing day to go.

Sweet Jesus have I ever been stressed? Did I ever seem stressed to you in any of my blog entries? Cos if I did, they sure as hell didn’t compare to Christmas day. I think I spent most of the day in the kitchen, sticking my head around the door only occasionally to see if Noah was still enjoying his day.

Thankfully I still managed my menu, today’s menu being Crab with Mango Salsa at about 1pm whilst his Mini Lordship ate pea and ham soup (you know that ham will live forever. Or at least until I find it green and mouldy at the back of the fridge). Then I somehow managed to cook a thousand different vegetables (some added as a last minute requests – not amused!) with the duck which was lovely but had approximately zilcho fat on it. That could have been interesting given I had planned to cook it for 3½ hours. Hmm, duck biscuits anyone? All that in time for dinner at about 5:30pm; what concerns me is that I was only cooking for D and myself! Going to be interesting should I get round to cooking mass family dinners…

But most importantly of course….was my BRAND SPANKING NEW iMAC!!

Oh no wait, there’s something else -

Oh yes, Noah! Noah’s first Christmas. We dressed him up in his Santa baby grow (cos he’s nearly not a baby anymore and so we’re allowed to do it so bite me all you folks who rolled your eyes. Here, have your eyes back) and demonstrated how to open one or two presents. He soon cottoned on how to open the rest, though for some reason he felt he couldn’t open them without first climbing on top of the present. We are yet to understand this.

But still! He enjoyed everything so much, and again was almost gasping with excitement at some of the stuff he got, including a hammer and peg blocks, a composing piano thing, some brightly coloured things, some car things with wheels and stuff, and some er, stuff. You know, stuff for him to play with. He seemed to enjoy them!

D and I were quite surprised that he showed more interest in the toys than the boxes and paper, which was NOT what we were expecting to be quite honest. In fact, I think he became ridiculously over stimulated and what with a vile cold, two popping teeth and his lovely tamtrums, it all became a bit too much by early afternoon. But that’s ok! He’s a crazy kid who clearly doesn’t know how to switch off yet; we ended up cuddling in front of My Friends Tigger & Pooh on tv and comfort burpee. Some things are just so cute.

Needless to say minutes later he was back to propelling himself around the room trying to decide which toy to play with next.

It was a great day, if a little manic, and it sucked being pregnant again and desperately trying to stay on my feet when all I wanted to do was sleep. Sure I knew it would be hard work, and I pray to lucifer and my George Forman grill that I won’t be doing it again next year, but the day was lovely, and even though he hadn’t a clue what was going on, it was great to see Noah enjoying his new toys.

Funnily enough we put a stocking in his cot with some toys in it for him to play with on Christmas morning. Poor kid was so tired (and oddly enough is so well behaved in the mornings) that he hadn’t even touched it by the time we went in, so we did the “kids in parents bed on xmas morning” thing and helped him pull them out. He was so cute with it! Think he enjoyed shouting at his talking JCB dumper digger truck thing (I dunno, ask his dad, he’s the engineer…)

As for my iMac, well of course it’s delicious and lovely and delicious. There really isn’t much else to say, apart from that. And it’s awesome and huge. And did I say delicious? I’ve spent most evening on it downstairs before it goes in the study (where I may hibernate for the rest of my life). What’s nice is that in a strange and unexpected way, it’s given me some more ideas on what to do with myself in the future. Crazy, I know, but it’s incentive.

Merry Christmas!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Christmas Showdown Countdown – Day 1

December 24, 2008 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

Due Date: 04/21/2009
Week: 23+1 day
Month: 6
Trimester: 2
Fetus Age: 21 weeks
Heartbeat: 149 bpm
Time to Go: 119 days
Size: The Christmas Ham?

Christmas Eve – DONE. Christmas day and Boxing day to go.

Feeling very smug with myself after today. I reflected upon my Christmas Menu for today, and quietly shat my pants (which is actually a possibility now, thanks fibresure!) at extravagance of the menu, and the ham which was roughly the same size as Noah (can’t decide between Noah ‘then’, or Noah ‘now’).

However, after realising that the ham was really not going to fit into the largest pot I own, even after trying to boil it for an hour, I gave up and cosied it in foil then shoved it in the oven. For 6 hours. To this very minute, I still don’t know how much it weighed, and I didn’t take any pictures of it, possibly because I was scared it would object.

But what matters, on this very special Christmas eve, is that I’m now down to half a ham, and should hopefully only be eating it until next summer, all being well. *

My mum came round and got drunk on Baileys; just awesome. She doesn’t get loud and in your face, she doesn’t get violent, she doesn’t even just quietly go to sleep in a corner…no…she just gets…kinda stupid. She has this awesome ability to spout utter crap, it’s just awesome. It’s often worth getting her drunk just to sit back and watch.

Noah, though having his moments (hey, he’s ill! And he’s a kid. He’s allowed), has been great today. He was beside himself with excitement after opening three of his presents already (for Nana’s benefit of course); a whizzing whirring car from his Granddad (my side), a big bouncy ball from Mama and Dada and a musical foot steps piano (think of the film ‘Big’) from Nana. He could barely contain himself!

Plus he had a whole serving of my soup which he loved (and I know he did because he told me) and then devoured a load of peas and some ham for his tea. We’ve been having some major food hassles lately so it was a monster sigh of relief to see him eat with comparatively minimal fuss (and some crazy new expressions).

Didn’t get to do the pears, D had to drive Mum home (and those are some seriously alcoholic pears…) so they’re on hold…but I don’t care. Even if tomorrow sucks, today has still been great. Bring on the next two days!

*All ham recipes/ideas/suggestions welcomed and appreciated. There’s only so much pea and ham soup a person can eat I think…