January 2010 Archives - mocha beanie mummy

Dear Birthday Weekend

January 29, 2010 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

Dear Friday night, Saturday and Sunday

You will be joining me in my birthday celebrations. You have no choice about this. Friday night, which should be putting in an appearance later today, who will commence proceedings by allowing D and myself to go out to dinner, whereby I will drink a ridiculous amount of champagne. And possibly eat some ridiculously extravagant food.

And then, after a fraught but usual Saturday daytime, as you like to throw at me EVERY weekend, I will spend my time with you, Saturday Night, drinking an awful lot more and possibly wondering if I’m brave enough to eat haggis.

And then, Sunday, you and I will spend the day making sure I am not hungover, having made it to 31 years and never having had one. We shall indulge in chocolate, possibly some more alcohol, and much more food I suspect.

None of you will crap on me, and this rule has been passed a law.

You guys owe me.

Yours,

jay **kissies**

Filed Under: birthday

In Short:

January 27, 2010 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

The carpet has been barfed on by three different bodies in less than 12 hours. One of those bodies was singing right before they barfed. Another didn’t realise they were barfing until they swung their head and got caught in the face with it. The last one barfed, and promptly tried to play with it.

The bodies in question were Noah, Isaac and the cat.

Bet you can’t guess who did what.

PS – Send chocolate.

Filed Under: pointless crap, wtf

Cull and Lockdown

January 25, 2010 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

There are lovely people. There are kick ass people. There are fucking WICKED people. I love them. All.

I know many of them (now my very good friends) through different sources; lately it’s mostly through twitter and blogging. I’m not even going to name them all, because with my superior skills, I’m likely to forget them all as soon as I’d start trying to remember.

But I think there are many out there who should understand the qualities in these people that make them fucking awesome. And one of the first things? That strikes a chord with me? Is that those people LISTEN. They HEAR me when I have something to say. They don’t come and crap all over me with their own stuff, and completely disregard what the fuck I just said. They realise that the moment isn’t about them, it’s about ME. Because I happen to be the one talking about MY problems, and if you ask ME how I am, then I’m going to tell you.

Don’t get me wrong. Of course I will listen to you if you want to talk to me. I will ALWAYS listen to you if you want to talk to me. But sometimes, it just doesn’t hurt to return the favour. Shut the fuck up, and listen to what I’m saying. It’s great that you have something to relate to me, that’s fab. But it helps if you HEAR me.

Another thing that makes these people lovely? They appreciate who I am, without forcing me to be something/someone else. If I want to act slutty on twitter? Then I will do. If I want to be all soppy mother type in my blog? Then I will do. If I want to be all manic depressive (and I’m not saying I am manic depressive, but someone mentioned that’s what I seem like at times, which is fine)? Then it’s gonna fucking happen. And if I want to swear? A lot? And say things like cunting motherfucker? Or fucking cock sucker? And I don’t care what you think. I’m going to say it.

I’m tired of being the chameleon to fit in with the right people. There are too many people out there who don’t know who I actually am, because I spend all my time trying to please everyone. I’ve been described as a “social chameleon”. And when I realised that’s exactly what sort of person I am, it was a serious eye-opener as to why I often feel so shit. Why I don’t know who the fuck I am.

Sure there are a lot of sides to me. But if you don’t like them? Then you don’t have to stick around. Go away. If you do stick around? Deal with it. If you don’t approve? Fine. Hell, you’re welcome to tell me. I’ll listen. But what I choose to do with your assvice, is my decision.

I try not to ask a whole lot. But those are some things that are important to me. I recently did a “Friends” Cull and Lockdown on facebook. It was one of the most satisfying things I’ve done in a while. I got rid of people who just don’t belong in my life. Who haven’t got a fucking clue who I am. I put people on lockdown who I don’t mind having around, but could do without feeling like I have to work that little bit harder and be someone who I don’t want to be, to be their friend.

It sounds like I’m asking a lot. I appreciate that a person perhaps shouldn’t have to have “criteria” to be a friend. But I’m sick of being shat on, and being nobody in particular. So I’m taking steps to be somebody. And I’ll make as many changes as I need to.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Silent Sunday

January 24, 2010 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

(Well, almost Silent Sunday. FOF is rife. Vile colds all round. So I’m drinking honey and lime. With rum. A LOT of rum. Only, I feel I still need to be classy. And also? My lips are chapped to fuckery, which I quickly discovered does NOT go well with lime.

Fuck.

Hence the straw.)

Filed Under: Facial Orifice Fluid (FOF), Silent Sunday

Every Time I Start Something, My Brain Shuts Down

January 21, 2010 By mocha beanie mummy Leave a Comment

I have no idea what I’m going to say right now, so let’s just see where this goes, huh??

I’ve been pounding my website trying to get it to look like something that might be slightly worthwhile, in aid of YOR. I’m hoping to God that I haven’t taken on too much, because now I’m at the point where the title of this post is disturbingly true. See, I should be working on the site now, but instead whenever I open WordPress, I feel remaining brain matter seeping out of my Facial Orifices.

(Awesome segue)

And speaking of Facial Orifices, we’re full on FOF here at Mocha Towers. So much frigging snot and phlegm everywhere it’s actually quite disturbing. I wake up wondering if I’m really alive, and have not, in fact, drowned in it in my sleep. And even more lovely is that Noah likes to play with baby wipes, and also wipe his nose on them. So of course, I can’t tell which ones he’s used and which ones he’s, uh, “used”.

(Another awesome segue)

Which reminds me, Noah having ventured into the world of two year olds, seems to be fully indulging himself in discovering his rights (and wrongs) as a growing toddler. Unfortunately he appears to have turned into me; having become very strong willed (like, more than before) and taking any opportunity to yell the words “Gaga – OH!!” (Isaac – NO!), regardless of what Isaac is doing.

(Yes another segue. I’m on FIRE)

On the subject of Isaac, he seems to um, have learnt way too much for his own good. He’s mastered the art of Crumple Faced Crying (forced tears and everything), and thoroughly enjoys ripping the lounge apart. I’d say it’s good fun, but it’s old now. Am bored. Isaac – NO!

Anyway, back to the original subject (no amazing segue, I’m spent); I’m enjoying the (few) pictures I’m taking, and still looking for more subjects. It’s been so frustrating as I feel like I’ve got NOTHING. DONE. Like, nothing. I’ve barely taken anywhere near as many pictures as I’d like, instead deleting maybe a billion duplicates off the macbook (thus clearing up nearly 30gb of space. I suspect that says a lot about my life.) in order to add more, well, crap.

Anyhoo.

I’m still working on YOR, that much is true. I’m refusing to pay anyone to do the website for me (apart from initial startup help, like wtf is WordPress, and also, wtf is WordPress again) and I’ll keep working at it until I get something I find reasonably presentable.

So maybe around the summer, when I’ve completely lost interest and am busy working on February, March and April’s resolutions.