The Gallery: Outside My Front Door

March 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Yes it’s another gallery post, from The Mrs Tara Cain (and yes, it’s THE Mrs, not just Mrs, because, you know, it’s Tara. Yeah) and this week’s theme is “Outside My Front Door“.

I had NO IDEA what to do for this one, since directly outside my front door is my car, hubs’ car, more cars and then some houses. And often, some kick-ass sunrises.
Although it looks nice in the snow too.
So I took a very short walk down the road to the end of my close, and quite liked this.
And then I looked up and realised I’m lucky enough to live a ridiculously short walking distance from wildlife and countryside.
And more wildlife and countryside.
Of course, having a short driving distance to several town centres and a major city is pretty cool.

You can find wildlife there, too.
Filed Under: photos, The Gallery

Solutions

March 31, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Yeah, see I don’t have any. No solutions at all. I hope to soon. I don’t know how many times I can bounce back. I can’t make “just bouncing back” a habit. I need to fix the problems. But I don’t know what the problems are.

For the sake of my boys, my sanity, my life, for now, I’ll just keep bouncing back, best as I can.
Maybe sometimes I’ll just need a little help with the old springboard. Everything weighs a little more than before, you know.
ETA: Thank you to everyone who supports me when I’m being utterly crap. I don’t always deserve your support when I’m being so difficult but you should know I always appreciate you being there. I really hope one day I can call on one of you when I really, really need you.
Filed Under: Depression

Out.

March 29, 2010 By Leave a Comment

It’s another post about depression. Sorry. But that’s how it is lately. That seems to be the theme of my life lately. I’m not even sure why.

I’ve had enough of everything, I’ve had enough of everyone. I’ve had enough of not wanting to sleep, and yet being so desperate to sleep. I’ve had enough of nightmares at night, waking up D, and being completely unaware of having nightmares and waking up D.
I’ve had enough of trying to figure out people, and who and what they are to me. I’ve had enough of being desperate for company and wanting to be left alone.
I can’t deal with having lots of small successes and yet it’s still never enough for me.
I’ve had enough of this. I’ve had enough of living my life, unintentionally, as 2 people. I’m tired of this feeling of schizophrenia.
I’m so tired. Tired of everything. I really want out. Call me a quitter? Go ahead, I don’t even care. Small things are happening..that’s great. Things are maybe looking up, I should be pleased.
I can’t shake this slump though. I hate to say any of this to anyone, because I know it makes me look ungrateful for any of the things that are happening now. But I don’t want to be me anymore. I don’t like this person. I don’t like who I am, I don’t like who I’m “supposed” to be.
Even though it’s all self inflicted.
Lately I hate being a mom. Yes, I said it. But not because I don’t love my boys. But because I forever feel I can do nothing right, and quite frankly, the job sucks. I’ve stopped seeing rewards because I’m working so hard on trying to keep everything else ticking over. I’m not even doing nearly as much as some other parents, so why the hell can’t I even cope with what’s on my plate?
I can’t shake this. I can’t shake any of it. I’m not strong enough to deal with it, and I don’t want to deal with it any more. I seem to spend the best part of my life dealing with it.
I want out. I really want out. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve had enough. Someone else do it. I don’t want hugs. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want “It’ll get better”. I don’t want anything any more.
I just want out.
Filed Under: Depression

Distracted to Distraction

March 27, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Yeah I’ve kinda been a bit neglectful lately, so yeah um, sorry, it’s because, my um, raccoon, got into this fight with a um, left sock, which was incidentally NOT one of the sock missing from my wardrobe, and did you see that thing on tv the other day about the thing with the cheese because I thought it was almost like that story in the paper this morning about toast?

Hi!
Yes!
Where have you been?
I’ve been here waiting all this time.
Are you confused?
I fucking am.
Ok I’m just going to distract you with stuff.
Go read this (and PLEASE help me out!!!)
You need to go view THIS ARTICLE ON DUCT TAPE and let me know if you’ve tried any. If you DO attempt any, please let me know because it’s more than likely you will become my hero.
I want to learn to sing this song and play it on the piano.
Bacon or Beer Can. I can’t decide, but it still cracks me up every time.
has put this week’s gallery up. I haven’t a clue what to do, so I reckon I’m gonna wing it. Again. You know, for a change. And I’ll tell everyone I put lots of thought into it.
Shit, I may have just hyped myself up too much already.
And also, COCK! I have NO IDEA what to do for next month’s YOR. I’m supposed to be meeting people this month, and that seems to have gone a bit pear shaped and I’ve not met nearly as many people as I’d hoped. So if you have nothing better to do, are really bored and fancy pointing and laughing at me in person rather than through my blog, let me know, ok? It’ll be fun, I’m sure.
Lastly (no more links after this, promise) I would like THIS PORK PRODUCT RELATED SITE to sponsor me for something. I don’t know what. Bacon eating contest, maybe. Or perhaps to write more on the Ode to Bacon.
I lied when I said no more links (of course I lied! HAH.)
There’s this big old competition going on about some blogger awards, called The MADS, and you should all totally go nominate some blogs. I hasten to add, I’m not (necessarily) asking to be nominated, because there isn’t a category for “Blogger That Rambles on About The Most Pointless Shit Known to Man” (which if there WAS, I would TOTALLY whoop all a y’all asses), but there are lots of people who should be nominated, and a soon as I figure it out, I might try and sneak a badge in the old sidebar to remind you to GO VOTE for people. Or yourself! Go vote for yourself! You are pretty amazing, after all.
Filed Under: pointless crap, wtf, YOR

Just one more on the whole colour thing

March 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Because this one actually said it funnier than I did :D

Filed Under: Uncategorized
«Older Posts

Effects Plugin made by Ares Download