Literally. With blogging, in any case.
I’ve had enough. I’m sick of it all. I’m bored of it all. It’s shit.
I’m sick of not being able to say what I want to say, for fear of upsetting the apple cart.
I’m bored of people telling me how to write my blog, what to say and how to say it correctly.
I’ve had enough of being told “there are no rules to blogging”, only to have a list of caveats in the very same breath.
I’m bored of the bullying. There is so much bullying. SO MUCH. And I don’t understand it. WHY.
I’m done with feeling like I have to be a competitor with every single post I write.
I am sick to death of the backstabbing, bitching, biting and childishness that seems to come with this.
I have finally reached the point where I am too exhausted to just keep my head down and repeat my mantra: This is me. This is my blog. If you do not like it, do not read it.
The same can be said for twitter. All this “please follow me because I’m following you” bollocks. The crap that is “so and so unfollowed me on my blog, now I’m gonna go unfollow them and block them from my blog too, just for good measure. And also, so I can bitch about them.”
I don’t know how to handle shit like this. I’m not built for shit like this. It’s not who I am. I’ve held on to my mantra from day one. I’ve tried not to beg people to read my blog unless it’s one post that really matters to me. I don’t seek attention unless I’m constantly shoving the info in your face. Though many wouldn’t believe it because quite frankly, the cynicism out there is fucking rife, I link my blog around because with some of the things I write, I only hope I can help someone else out there who might be struggling with the same shit as me.
So for those out there hell-bent on taking mahoosive dumps on those who they think are lesser people? To those who disagree with what I have to say in MY OWN personal space? To those enjoy the satisfaction in the self-appointed role of being Judge-Holier-Than-Thee?
Congratulations. Your absolute shittiness and disgusting attitude is doing a great job.
Shame, really. Because the repercussions are probably more than you would ever fucking know, and you probably don’t give a shit.
Tell me who it is and I'll sort 'em out for you – a big fat WHATEVER – tell them to fuck right off – your space, your content, your choice, no rules. Be gutted to see the tinterweb without you – who will I go #Twinking with?! You are better than those that believe they should be listened to – la la la not listening to them *flicks the v's* ((((BIG HUGS)))) xxx
Bloody hell! Y'know it's quite nice down here under the radar – we all sit with our fingers in our ears going "lalalalalalala!"
Tuning out the shite like it's white noise.
I've only ever been pulled up twice in the 3 years I've been blogging about what and how I should be writing on it and on both occasions I told the commenter to go take a flying fuck at themselves equally publicly. Some people think they have the right to leave comments and violate inboxes saying wtf they want and the only acceptable response should be silence or a meek apology – I say fuck 'em!
Jay. You are wonderful. We need you. We love you. Take a day off. Relax a little, my friend. Don't let it get to you any more than it already has. You're a fighter my friend. Never give up blogging or … or they'll be big trouble okay? *said in pathetic voice* This is your blog, your space, it is wonderful, it's yours and I love it. And I'm not the only one. Mwah xxxx
I'm so sorry this is happening. It's horrible. Do you think if you stop, you'll have let them win though? It's your own personal space. Say what you want and don't be cowed.
Jay, I'm horrified that you feel like this hun. As I said on my blog yours is such a fresh real blog, fuck them who don't like it! But I also understand how criticism hurts having had a horrific weekend of being openly attacked in the real world about my blog. Completely understand how vulnerable you feel putting yourself out there and having people attack you. Completely understnd that you need to withdraw a little take a breath and just process the crap. LIke me when you feel strong enough hun, I believe you'll be back. Soon. Sometimes you just need to hear the good stuff to equal out the bad so I'm so pleased so many people have commented with encouragement. Love and hugs from me too V x
Jay you absolutely must not quit. Unless you're too busy with bacon. And even then, if you wipe the bacon fat off your hands before approaching the keyboard (otherwise it does get a little slippy – I've tried, you end up writing a lot of tosh. And then some)…well, we'd still read it, slippy tosh or not.
I also agree with what most people here say. To which I would like to humbly add:
There are some real c***'s out there – it's our job to ignore them, refuse to let them get to us, and prove to the rest of the world, that people are on the whole really very nice.
2) Blogging begins in a very beautiful small space, then as one blog finds another, and another… a 'real-life' community grows. If that community then gets competitive, nasty, judgemental whatever…then it poisons everyone. I've no idea who said what to upset you. But if I knew I'd give them a piece of my mind. This kind of poison affects us all, not just the 'intended target' – let's flush it out. And keep it out.
3) I like you. You make me laugh. Please don't disappear from my virtual life. I'd be a bit sad actually.
And that is all.
Gigi xx
I'm a relative newbie too so I haven't yet expereienced anything close to what you are obviously going through but I do believe that familiarity, and indeed popularity, for some does often breed contempt and begrudgery and if you are bloggin long enough you will at some point probably come across a complete arsehole or two – I guess the difference is how we each deal with it or let it affect us. I love your blog and hilarious twitterings Jay and you are obviously an immensely talented individual with a lot to say that many of us want to hear. Please don't let the begrudgers or bullies win – don't give them that power, instead use it yourself to go from stength to strength. Sending you hugs, bacon and some new pipecleaners for Dildo Bob x
1 – Can we have more swearing please. I especially liked the first comment. I feel it set the tone correctly.
2 – Please don't stop blogging. Yours is a breath of fresh air.
Hey gorgeous! When I say the first line in mt reader I immediately said NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! out loud. Look I hear you on the bullying and the bullshit and I have been tempted to give up 80 bazillion times but seriously you are amazing and have such a brilliant voice alongside all the rubbish in the blogosphere.
Like everyone else has said (way better than I could) it is your choice but don't let the fuckers win. You CAN blog on your own terms – its not easy (and I think as you get "bigger" on twitter it gets harder) but you are a strong kick ass woman and, as I hope you can tell from these comments, you have a small army behind you chanting your name (as well as 'cock' and 'bacon').
I recommend creating voodoo dolls out of bacon of the asswipes that are giving you trouble and then eating them.
You rock – so big loves from me!
Deep breath.
Ignore the knockers and the tossers.
Block them if you can.
Tell them to F*** Off if you know who they are.
And if you don’t treat them with the contempt they deserve.
Remember this is your space OK? And it’s a place of truth and beauty.
Oh dear so sorry to hear this. I remember the days (yes I'm that old – in blog years anyway) when blogging was just fun and there wasn't any of this crap all of the time. Will you still be tweeting?
No more cocking bacon? No! It can't be true! I hope it's not anyway. will miss you crazy lady. I'm feeling so sad about all these posts about bullying, it's making me question the whole blogging thing…what is wrong with people?
As someone who is also on the verging of saying fuck it to their blog, Jay, I know how you feel, it sucks, its abusive and it shouldn't happen in a group of adults.
I loved meeting you at Cybermummy, in my view you are one of a handful of truly honest and supportive people, not to mention talented beyond belief, and I wish you well, I also hope you change your mind and don't let those responsible win. Hun, I am here for you, I feel the same at the moment like I've had enough, I hate that people are trying to sweep it under the carpet like it doesn't happen, cos it does.
Sending you love x
Oh hunny, no idea what has happened yet as only just seen this but DO NOT QUIT your blog, I love it and look at all the support you have! There are some real idiots in this world, I had some vile disgusting comments left on my blog a few posts ago which made me question the whole thing too but don't let these people beat you or win xxx
In the words of scrappy doo from Scooby doo "Let me at em, Let me at em." Whoever has said anything about you or your blog has a whole load of people to deal with. We all love, care and need you. Have a break but please come back. xx
I am so oblivious to all this and miss everything but I am so sorry that someone has made you feel so strongly that you want to walk away. I would miss your blog so much. I find it honest and refreshing and different. I hope that with a little break you will feel like coming back to your space and will feel able to ignore those that are upsetting you. In the meantime, lots of hugs and don't be a stranger xx
Love you. Please don’t let the bullies win. They are tosser’s and you are AWESOME. XXX
I'm a but like mummyunlimited in that I don't really know what's been going on, tend to have my head in the clouds. Don't understand all the bitching. It's so unnecessary. Surely mummy bloggers should unite not fight! Don't give up.x
God there seems to be an awful lot of these feelings going round this weekend. And from the most talented individuals, with the most interesting things to say. I really hope this post is the catharcism you needed and that you come back fighting soon. The community would have a gaping hole without you.
M2M x
ps i seem to be oblivious to a lot of stuff going on, and the cliques, thank the lord. I'm just writing my shit, and interacting with the shit i like.
I'm a bit slow on the up take (mostly because I spend too much time eating biscuits) and I don't know what happened to make you feel this way, but please DON'T feel this way. This is, as you say, your personal space. If you don't want to write anymore, then that's fine (except it's not because I like what you write), but make that choice because it's your choice not because some twat has been, well, a twat.
don't do eeeeeet!
NO NO and ABSOLUTELY NO! I will not accept you leaving the twittering and blogging world, just because I have finally got more time for it and after meeting you at Cybermummy I want to follow your posts and your tweets. Because you are lively, fun, interesting and a great read and we need more bloggers like you so just blog for your readers, forget about the "up their own ass" ones. Two years of blogging taught me one thing is that blogging is like in the real world: there are good and bad ones and there are people you want to be friend with and some you don't. Some are competitive and all the they want is to "say it better", some are plain attention seekers, while a lot of others are really cool ones who want to share a laugh and a cry, they simply want friends and express their creativity in this way. Don't let the bad ones win!!
xx
Fuck the bullies, not literally of course, that would be like rewarding them for being arseholes. Hope you change your mind and don't let them win.
All I can add is that I’m not sick of you.
I've only just met you, but seriously, you don't strike me as the kind of person who doesn't do pretty much exactly what you want to do, despite any noise in the background. This blog is a place where YOU get to express yourself as YOU wish. And for those who don't like it, don't get it, don't want it – the choice is very simple: they can go elsewhere. Page back, close tab, whatever. You can block them and ignore them, which is what I hope you'll do. I gotta think that so many comments from so many readers might convince you that it's not really in anybody's interest (who matters) for you to stop blogging.
I'm really sorry to read this post. Some people are utter, utter shits who shouldn't be let near a keyboard unattended.
You, on the other hand, are fanbloodytastic and I'd be gutted to think that I wouldn't be able to read your posts anymore – thank heavens I thought to stalk you on fb and twitter
I hope you're ok. Hugs.
No! Please don't stop.
I know bullying is the worst – and it doesn't make it any easier being electronic rather than being backed in the corner of the girls' loo and being punched & screamed at.
But your blog is YOUR space and you make the rules – no-one else. If they don't like it, they can go elsewhere (it's not as if there's any shortage of other blogs).
As you may have already seen from the pile of comments, for every cyber-bully, you have dozens of real-life and cyber friends who are on your side – so please, don;t stop.
I have no idea what's gone on! I see all this stuff about bullying but I'm never on BMB, rarely on Twitter nowadays and comment only when I feel really passionately about something. And that something is your blog. You make me laugh and cry and there are very few people who have that fabulous ability. Kathryn hit the nail on the head. They're cunts. Fuck 'em. Do what I do – blog for yourself and get on with it without giving a shit. I get hardly any hits on my blog & don't care. I write about what I want to write about and ignore the bollocks.
If you reconsider I'll be here waiting. x