January 2011 Archives - mocha beanie mummy

Silent Birthday Sunday

January 30, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 104 Comments

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Filed Under: birthday, Silent Sunday

Dear So and So…Celebratory Thank You Edition

January 28, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 10 Comments

Dear Readers

THANK YOU. Thank you for reading my blog, making me blogger of the week, BMB “Brilliance in Blogging – Outstanding In Field” award winner, for joining in Silent Sunday, for listening to my , for your comments on my posts, for stopping by and saying hi, for letting me just get on and be who I want to be, for rolling your eyes and going away quietly when I didn’t know who I wanted to be, for , for sharing random moments in my life with me, and so much more.

Humbled, mocha beanie mummy xxxxx

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Dear Flu

This weekend, it is my birthday. Sunday, to be exact. If you so much as sneeze or snort in my direction, I swear to Lucifer I will pound your ass WAAAAAAY more than you pounded mine last weekend.

And that’s a promise.

REALLY sincerely, me *SNEEZE*

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Dear Birthday

You will be awesome. Oh yes you will.

Big love, me.

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Dear

You brought me birthday cake today. I haven’t had cake that looked as awesome as this since I was about 8 and my mom made me a Hansel and Gretel house cake. Did I mention you are awesome? I’m going to pimp the hell out these cakes for my Silent Sunday.

iPad with a hint of bacon and frosting hugs, cosmicgirlie

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Dear Readers. Again.

It’s your turn now, innit? Go write some letters. Stop by Kat’s place. Link up and stuff! It’s really easy…

Filed Under: Dear So and So

Tagged with a meme to make your eyes bleed and wonder, “exactly wtf?”

January 27, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 28 Comments

It um, appears to be the time for memes and tags, as I’ve received another tagging this week. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that I should NOT get excited about memes and tags, and most definitely NOT before I’ve seen what (putrid) award or whatever the hell it is I have, um, been graciously given. Thanks (in a fashion) to Michelle over at Mummy From The Heart.

I haven’t even copied the image across yet, because it makes me die inside.

In fact, there’s no way I’m storing it on my server, so instead, I’m linking it from someone else’s server.

I’ll just give your eyes a few moments to recover from the comic sans font, the blinding colours and the bouncing creature which should possibly be barbecued. (I’m informed it’s a kitten. Yeah, cos that makes it better.)

The memetastic award was created by Jillsmo and she attached the following rules -

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don’t have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It’s so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there’s even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It’s horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we’re creating here. If you need a higher resolution version… I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we’ll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we’re just on the honor system here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don’t like or don’t really have much of an opinion about. I don’t care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why.

Well I’ve already failed No. 1 because there’s no chance in hell I’m displaying this “proudly”. And you must be taking the piss if you think I want it in high res. Um, hell no thanks.

And then list 4 bold faced lies and one truth about myself? Ok here goes.

I own 9 vibrators
I met my husband in a strip club
I made Dildo Bob a Santa Claus outfit for Christmas
I once tried to make a pair of knickers from bacon
I asked my mother in law to make me a penis cake for my birthday

Lastly No. 3 pass it on to “5 bloggers that you either like or don’t like or don’t really have much of an opinion about”? LMAO Way to let them know it. Well then my obvious choices to suggest for this award would have to be the following:

Laura AWNTYM

tiddlyompompom

Kat 3BedroomBungalow

Brighton Mum – Teen Angst

(mostly) yummy mummy

You are welcome. *snigger*

Filed Under: tagged

7 Things About Me That Could Be WAY More Interesting. But Aren’t.

January 25, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 7 Comments

I’ve been tagged in a meme by CheshireClaire and Fired4U and several others I think – only I’m really rubbish at keeping up with who tagged me so apologies if I miss you! The theme of the meme (hah!) is “7 Things You Didn’t Know About Me”. Well, there are tons of things you guys don’t know about me, the problem is finding 7 interesting things you didn’t know about me.

Hmm.

Ok well I’m going to give it a go. This could be interesting. Or not.

First - When I was 8 I travelled to and from Jamaica on my own to stay with my grandfather for a month. While I was out there, I got caught in hurricane Gilbert; had to delay going home by 2 weeks. Was exciting. Except for the fact that I was gutted I missed the first two weeks of the new school year.

Second – I had my first ever camera when I was 5 – it was a polaroid and was AWESOME. I was distraught when it broke. A year later I started cello, and today I still wonder what would have happened if the camera hadn’t gotten broken.

Third – I have an irrational fear of cobwebs. I have no idea why. I’d sooner stay in the house than go out in the garden if there are loads of them everywhere.

Fourth – I often bite my tongue and choose not to say things WAY more than I probably should do. Too nice for my own good? Most likely.

Fifth – I rarely spell “masturbation” correctly on the first attempt. Despite this, I rarely use the word.

Sixth – I’ve stroked Bonnie the Blue Peter dog, and whilst at the studios, I screamed “OH MY GOD YOU’RE PHILIP SCHOFIELD!” directly at Philip Schofield. I was only 10. And yes, I’ve been on Blue Peter. (Does that count as a claim to fame? Lordy…)

Seventh – I own 7 cellos. One of them is currently valued as priceless, and I bought it on eBay. And so I’ll probably never sell it. Hah hah, suckers.

Hmmm…that was surprisingly easy!! Or maybe it’s because I’m just spectacularly dull.

Anyways, I’m supposed to tag a whole bunch of peeps now, but I know that by the time I get this post out, most of you will already have done it. So instead, if you want tagging, SHOUT UP and I’ll um, shout back at you. Share the love, eh?

Filed Under: tagged

Cold and flu hints and tips. The ones people neglect to mention.

January 24, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 15 Comments

Since Thursday, I’ve been dealing with the flu. I woke up Thursday morning feeling slightly tired but otherwise fine, and by Thursday lunchtime, I could barely keep my eyes open and lifting an arm was a well thought out operation (which pretty much didn’t happen). Colds and bugs don’t normally phase me too much, but this has had me out cold (and hot) for hours at a time. I’ve seen tons of people struck by it over Christmas and whilst I looked on in sympathy, I somehow thought I was immune to it.

What? I dunno…everyone has a super power…right?

Anyway, there were a few things that people were forgetting to mention in being able to deal with the flu. So just for you, I have listed them here.

You are welcome.

Tena Lady. I don’t care if you’re a bloke. Trust me, you’ll thank me. Unless you like doing laundry whenever you sneeze.
Learn to clench. You’ll need to with all that coughing. Plus it’ll give you the best set of abs anyone could ever want for. Gym? PAH! Who needs it, right?
Carry around some lube of some sort. Nope, there’s no way you’re having sex in this state, but your nose will thank you immensely after rubbing it drier than a nun.
Lip balm. See all that attractive breathing-through-your-mouth which you’re having to do? You can guarantee by the time the flu is over, your lips will have shed 17 layers of crap.
Don’t look in the mirror. It won’t be pretty. No matter how much you prepare yourself. Fact.
If you’re going to lie on your back? Lie on a bed of tissues. Because when you roll over, that Facial Orifice Fluid is gonna come gushing like you couldn’t even imagine.
Crisps and chocolate are perfectly acceptable flu remedies.
Prepare to be hot. And then cold. And then hot but with freezing feet. And then cold but your hands are roasting. And then hot and disgustingly sweaty which will obviously make you cold. Wash, rinse, repeat. You get the picture.
What’s that? You can hear the kids screaming downstairs while your other half is trying to deal with them? There’s yelling and crying? Sounds like someone’s been hurt? DO NOT GET OUT OF YOUR SICK BED.
Invest. Take out shares in Kleenex, Olbas Oil, Vicks, Lemsick, Barfhams and all that other stuff that quite frankly? Doesn’t work. You’ll get through enough of it for you to retire next week.
All food will taste like crap. Therefore you will have the pleasure of losing anything up to 8lbs in weight. Which you will put back on in less than a day once you’re better.
Be prepared to see the stars. No, not the ones in the sky, the ones you’ll see in your head from the excruciating headache you’ll have, powered by the regular sneezing/coughing/nose blowing/breathing/general movement.