Something is going to happen soon, and people have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to it.
Isaac has been for 2 nursery induction sessions recently. This morning his session was all morning, right up until nap time. Noah had already gone to school with D, so I bundled Isaac in the car after his breakfast, and took him in. One thing that was in my favour is that he’s seen the nursery and the staff plenty of times before because he’s with me when I’m dealing with Noah. So he was totally familiar with it.
So familiar in fact, that he was happy to run off ahead without so much as a look back.
When I went to collect him he was spark out on one of the mats in the corner, thumb in his mouth, no sign of his burpee. They woke him up, and he immediately started chatting to his carer, then to me when he saw me. No tears, all morning. In fact, they complimented me on his manners and how well behaved he was playing with the other children.
Now, I don’t know if I’m being selfish, or if I’m allowed this moment of glory, but I cannot WAIT for him to start. It’s pretty much been me and The Smalls intensively since day one, and considering the independence I had pre-babies, giving up that immense amount of freedom was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And I’ve spent the time with them preparing them for a world of independence. They know I am always there for them, and heaven knows I get kisses and cuddles by the bucket load, every single day I am around them. I’ve spent my time working my ass off trying to ensure that my boys will do well, that they will succeed, but that they can always come back to me if their world falls apart.
Like most mothers, much of my life has been them.
Isaac starts nursery this Thursday, for 2 full days a week. 2 whole days of complete freedom and a chance to find myself again. The time to tinker and fine-tune my career and realign my path into photography. The time not be a mom; to have the closest thing to that “mom holiday” that I’ve craved for so very long. Many mums do this for longer than me. I am not many moms. I am me. And it’s important to remember that.
I am SO excited for my boy Isaac to take his first major step into his new surroundings. His next rung on the ladder. His launch into the world. Worried? Me? Nah.
I have every faith in me and him.