July 2011 Archives - mocha beanie mummy

Silent Sunday

July 31, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 60 Comments

Filed Under: Silent Sunday

Mourning In Advance

July 29, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 22 Comments

My Granddad lives in Jamaica. He’s got to be about 80 something now, maybe 86? He’s kind of plain damn awesome. As a kid, when he lived in London with my now departed Granny, I spoke to them on the phone every single day. Without fail. I can’t even imagine what the phone bill was like; I was only 6 and too young to know/care. I visited them in London for the last time aged 7, then they moved to Jamaica for good. When they moved, I had dreams/nightmares about how I was ever going to stay in touch with them. One of the dreams was recurring and I can still recall it in exact details now.

Then she died and my world crumbled a lot. I was 8. I didn’t want to understand, but I did. Perfectly well.

Which left Granddad on his own, although he did re-marry. I was there in Jamaica for the wedding; Granddad had come to the UK; I travelled to Jamaica with him, then travelled back completely alone. I was 9. From there, I didn’t get to speak to him so much. We sent letters, had the odd phone call, but we drifted. I still adored him, he was AWESOME. He made me laugh with his stories, I had respect for him as an incredibly well known minister on the whole island of Jamaica. I still do.

I’ve seen him 3 times in the last 10 years. The first time, I think in 2000 when I was in the middle of being horribly ill, saw him graduating with yet another degree and still climbing trees picking fruit for me and my sister. Covering much of the north of Jamaica, by car, every single day. He had boundless energy, unlimited stamina.

When I went back, it was with D for our honeymoon. I noticed the change, then. He was slower, so much slower, but still alert somehow.

A year later we were back to surprise him with his great grandson Noah. It hit home. I knew he was going. He didn’t remember stuff…he would tell me the same story he told me just 5 minutes ago…he’d drift off on a regular basis, mid-sentence…it’s not even big stuff, right? It’s just little stuff! Almost expected, let’s face it. He’s like, 80 something by this point. But it’s SO noticeable.

I wanted (so badly) for the 4 of us to go over and visit him this year. He’s never met Isaac, and only saw Noah when N was barely 3 months old. It bothers me that suddenly, only now, when he asks for them he remembers their names. Everyone (like, as far as I’m aware everyone) in my family is going to visit him this October. Aunties, uncles, cousins, siblings their respective partners. D and I are working so hard to make ends meet, I pretty much said if all of us can’t go, then none of us are going. It just wouldn’t feel right.

Last week D booked a ticket and hotel for one.

Turns out I’m going.

I’m not sure I want to. I’m not sure I want to see what I’m going to see. My mind is mourning in advance, and I’m fighting everything to stop my heart from reacting. I’ve toughened my exterior, but I don’t know what I’m toughening it for.

How selfish am I? I’m not sure I want to go.

Filed Under: family, Ultimate Stresssss

#TrackOfTheDay

July 27, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 2 Comments

All I’m gonna say is this.

When your kidlets are on school holidays, you do what you can to stay one step ahead of the game. And it seems my brain has laid down the gauntlet – composing train tracks in my head when The Smalls aren’t even around. (In bed, in the car, quite often whilst avoiding paying attention to something.)

And even worse, I get pissy if I build an awesome track, but don’t get to take the photo before The Smalls destroy it. I need another hobby, and sharpish.

(And no, Tiny Tower does not count – what is UP with that lifetime consuming, child neglecting, suck you into a mental hole of time/space continuum craziness? Download at your peril. In fact, don’t download it, because you’ll see multi coloured pixels whether your eyes are open or closed. And I’m blaming @LauraAWNTYM for that one.)

Now if someone could please make it stop, that would be great.

Filed Under: AWESOMENESS, Clickem to Biggem, Isaac, Noah, parenting, wtf

Silent Sunday

July 24, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 61 Comments

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
What is Silent Sunday?

Filed Under: Silent Sunday

Youtube, Google and Lego. It’s all quite simple.

July 21, 2011 By mocha beanie mummy 11 Comments

I am LOVING Noah’s thirst for knowledge. Everyone says that “but why mommy?” stage will drive you nuts. Au contrare. With Noah, he wants to know the information so he can use it.

He’s really into Lego at the moment. No, not Lego Duplo, I mean real Lego. For Big Kids.

He currently has a Toy Story 3 truck and Lots’o Bear. That was simple. Then he got a city sweep truck with crane lift and accessories. They’ve been hiding for a while, since his birthday I think, but he plays with them once in a blue moon when Isaac is away. Yesterday he was given a space rocket with launch pad, satellite truck, satellite and computer desk thingy.

Now, Noah is currently 3.5 years old. I totally understand the questions; most of this stuff he hasn’t really seen before. “What’s this mommy? What does it do mommy? Why does it do that mommy?” That’s all fine. But explaining satellites and rocket launch pads and take off to a kid that age? Um, no. So we turned to trusty youtube where I found him a number of rocket launch videos. Shortly after, I Googled images of satellites in space. I decided not to go in too far, lest I should have to start explaining Earth, the planets, space, stars, the solar system and the number 42

40 minutes later, I have a headache from him shouting so loudly in excitement and repeatedly doing his own rocket launches. He attaches the satellite, counts down, launches, detaches satellite and boosters from the rocket.

Mean while, he controls various vehicles back on the ground (table), making the reversing noise when he manoeuvres them into place. The rocket waits patiently to be “re-orbited” into space, with satellite attached.

I know it’s probably nothing special, but I have to say, this kiddo blows me away every day with his thirst for knowledge. Next up on my to-do list this summer holiday? Source a complete collection of children’s encyclopaedias, find out where the hell the National Geographic channel is on Virgin Media, buy more Lego. Easy.