Soooooooooo we’re pulling the boys out of their current private school. If we keep them in, it’s safe to say that they would be the most educated homeless kids in the area.
Which, I’m pretty sure, defeats the object somewhere.
(I can hear the whispers now; “Omg she’s whining about not being in private school? Welcome to the real world. Geeze.”)
Anyway, I’ve spent far too much of this week crying, because I knew it was coming. Actually that’s a lie – I have spent far too much of the last 24 hours crying because that’s how recently the decision has come to light. It’s not all about being upper class and living some kind of dream life. I don’t care about keeping up with the Jones’ because I know can’t do that personally. But I’m seriously fucking worried about the future of Noah and Isaac.
I have set high standards. Very fucking high standards. And what’s more, is that their (current) school met and surpassed my standards by far. Which means I raised my bar to meet them. So my standards are, uh, seriously fucking high.
The boys have a childhood. but the balance of their childhood along with their academics amazes me. The things they’ve learnt, seen and done. The things they want to do. The things they want to know. The way they learn. The way they just behave. The way they are.
A very wise friend of mine told me they didn’t get all that from the school, they’ll have gotten it from me. But I’m still terrified. I’m terrified of letting my standards slip. Of letting Noah and Isaac down, of not helping them maintain the level of excellence they currently have.
When I spoke to the admissions and financing lady person at the school, even she pointed out how they would most likely be much further ahead than children in state schools. Now, this sounds like I’m being an epic snob, but frankly? This pleases me. Not from a “my kid is better than your kid” attitude; I couldn’t give a shit what the next kid is doing, because they are not relevant to me. But what DOES concern me staying ahead of the game of life. Of being able to maintain a standard that, when they reach adulthood, is going to see them being incredibly level head yet always reaching goals.
Being successful. Wanting to achieve.
Am I being a snob? In someone else’s eyes, probably.
Do I want the absolutely fucking best for my kids, to give them what I couldn’t have, to educate them in a way that couldn’t be afforded for me too, to give them a grounding and sense of self that will secure them confidently for the foreseeable, well beyond their years?
Hell yes.
I don’t know what the next stage is. We’ve missed all the deadlines for state schools, and I don’t know what the fees are for other independent schools. Home schooling is not an option. I can only hope that my determination (read: stubborn attitude) to succeed in life is nested within The Boys.
They’ll be ok. I know. I think.
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It's not about being a snob. You found somewhere that met your needs/standards and now unfortunately you can't send them there anymore. Of course you're upset and disappointed. Everyone wants the absolute best for their kids. It's just that now you'll have to find somewhere else that's just as good. It may take a wee while but you'll get there. Sounds like your kids will continue to be amazing, regardless of what school they'll go to, cos they have a spectacularly amazing mum who's actively involved in their well being, and education. Not every child is as lucky. Continue doing that and they'll be grand. Chin up!!x.
Yes, this could mire down into the State School vs. Independent school noise. Inevitable, maybe, but irrelevant.
A sense of worth and a high regard for education comes from within the home first. And since your standards will not slip for your boys, I have every confidence they will be as successful and fulfilled no matter where they are educated.
Whatever Just scribbled out epic comment…just ((hugs))
They have you for a mother. They will never loose their urge to excel or their quest for knowledge.
I wanted to send my daughter to private school and was heartbroken when we did the math and realised it was a no go. She is going to start state school this autumn and I hope that with all the extra input from us her future will be just as bright.
Your boys are wonderful and will continue to be don't worry xx
A snob? Hell no! That's called being a great, epic Mum to two very handsome chappies, and there is not a darn thing wrong or snobbish or any other adjective about that.
I agree with the person who said that the boys wanting to strive towards great things is more down to your parenting than the schooling they have had. My niece is nearly at Uni. She went to the local catholic school, got herself into grammar school and has done pretty well. She has known for years what she wants- to be a Doctor- and she'll do it, I know she will, because both her parents (my in-laws) have never told her she cannot for any reason. Me, on the other hand, I was told I would never amount to anything by my parents, and I gave up from an early age, despite great teachers at school.
Jay, you rock hun, don't be sad, you are one of the most confident people I've had the pleasure of meeting, you have balls, and I'm sure this will rub off on those boys of yours no matter what x
You aren't a snob at all. In fact, if I could afford it both my kids would be in private schools. I will say that my kids are thriving in a state school. I would make the following suggestions; get involved at the school (the more the school sees your face, the more the value your input), get to know the teachers, let your concerns be heard, fight for your kids education. It sucks to say, the teachers know which parents are the passive ones and those who demand the best for their kids. This goes for all schools; not just state schools.
See how you are loved? Your boys will do great, for all the reasons outlined by the very clever commenters so far. Big, big cuddle. I know loads of people, including my brother, who have done the same and not looked back. I hope you can try to stop beating yourself up, if your boys have a fraction of your spirit they could rule the world xxx
Oh hell, what a thing to have to do, just hugs!
But you aren't snob, well if you are you just join all the other snobby mothers who adore the bones of their kids eh? Have done a bit of both, private, state (& now homeschool) as you know and they all tick different boxes but your little men have had the best start they could have had. And they have you for their mum, someone with passion, drive, an amazing artistic streak and an opinion; pretty lucky I say
You will always give them the best, you can't do more than you do although trust me, whatever you do and I mean WHATEVER, there will always be those nights when they are 22 when you cry silly tears that you might not have done enough.
Mummy guilt sucks and it's one thing you can't avoid if you truly care xx
There's nothing at all snobbish about wanting the best for your children, isn't that what we all want? I'm sad to hear you've had to change your plans for the boys, but you are the driving force behind them so they will thrive wherever they are. Good luck hun xx