And then by magic and/or miracle, he turned 5.

Every single day, I question how the hell no one has taken my children away from me yet. Mostly because my parenting skills are diabolical, and I shout a lot, and have been known to feed them crap, and sometimes I’m a smart mouth with them when they ask one too many questions (which, of course, is all the time). Yet however, they are still alive, and even more astonishing is the fact that Noah made it to his 5th birthday last week.

I confess I patted myself on the back by drinking a bottle of Champagne, amazed with the sheer fact that I have made it this far without major disaster.

Which I’m pretty sure is imminent.

So, happy birthday kiddo. I love you a whole shit load, and I know for a fact I should say it to you more often, but I guess that’s what comes with being a bit of a crap mom. But you already know it though, right? I think the very fact that, one of the biggest presents you wanted for your birthday, was a cake with a picture of your family on it (which I didn’t get to do, and even though you said it’s ok if it doesn’t work because at least I tried {I did try}, you made things even better by saying it was ok because I could just take a photo of the 4 of us anyway, and you could have it from my polaroid and keep it with you).

I did that for you, but I hope you don’t mind that I put it in a tiny little frame for you, because then you can keep it on the unit downstairs and see it all the time. And that’s cool too, because it’s right next to your favourite place to play.

I hope you had an ace birthday; opening presents at home, lunch at Grandma and Granddad’s house, and then the Sea Life Centre the next day (you asked to go to an aquarium, and Daddy and I were over the MOON because we’d already planned the day out when you asked to go).

I love you, Noah. x

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Out.

I haven’t understood much of this week at all.

Isaac started nursery, Noah is still at home, I’m running on crappy minimal sleep, I fell out spectacularly with one of my best friends, I’m seriously doubting my abilities as a professional photographer (again), and sweet baby Jesus, I would really like a PROPER holiday or maybe just some peace or something soon.

So after yet another tearful (Isaac’s tears, definitely NOT mine) nursery start, and a shitty rainy day, The Smalls and I walked a bit. With camera.

Clickem to biggem.

When The Small Gets Sick…

…well, you pack him in the pushchair and take him out for a walk, innit?

Far too bloody sunny to be stuck inside, even though he’d spent the previous day barfing. (click them to big them.)Autumn Walk Sept 11-16 © Jay Mountford PhotographyI usually suck at photographing flowers. But I couldn’t help myself when I saw these on the walk.

Autumn Walk Sept 11-15 © Jay Mountford PhotographyAnd yeah, the berries remind me of Christmas. Eeeeeeek! (Yes I said that C word.)

Autumn Walk Sept 11-12 © Jay Mountford PhotographyOmg CONKERS! I bloody love conkers. I don’t even do anything with them, I just love the way they look and feel. I remember when I was really really ill, I used to always have a conker in my pocket and rub it when I got agitated, kind of like a stress ball or something. It had a flat side and was a really unusual shape, which fitted my thumb perfectly. I think it might even still be in the loft…

Evidently, Isaac likes conkers too…

 

Autumn Walk Sept 11-13 © Jay Mountford Photography

Autumn Walk Sept 11-5 © Jay Mountford PhotographySo. Many. Colours.

Autumn Walk Sept 11-1 © Jay Mountford PhotographyEven the stuff that seems a little mundane can take on a different view.

Isaac had 2 days off school. He’d thrown up in school on Monday, then again when we got home. When I took him for the walk on Tuesday, he was getting back to being his usual shouty self. Got to confess though, I was bloody thankful he didn’t fight sleep when it came.

Autumn Walk Sept 11-1 2 © Jay Mountford Photography

 

It’s still the Summer Holidays. We’re all still alive.

Ok, we’ve done well so far. I don’t know what week we’re on now (I haven’t been counting, mostly because it’s ONLY JUST AUGUST OMFG WHYYYYY) but both children are still alive, and I still have sober moments.

Every few days, for about 20 minutes, we get the most glorious sunshine. It makes me want to take all my clothes off, wrap myself in a towel and sit in a corner of the garden in the shade. Hey, I’m part Jamaican. UK sun will never be as glorious as over there. Unfortunately, I’m also part British and I just can’t take direct sun. I’m pretty sure if I was white, I’d be an emo vampire or something. With a tan.

And you know. What with my love of meat and all.

Yesterday we did the “British” thing and totally took advantage of the fact that it got above 15 degrees C, and filled the paddling pool as fast as possible (which wasn’t very fast when you have two Little People trying to climb in fully clothed). I took photos.

There was an awful lot of splashing.

 

Noah did some dolphin aquarobics while Isaac sat there quite calmly.

And then Noah decided to see if he could soak my camera. Meh, not like I need work.
(What is UP with the muscle definition on that boy??)

You remember looking through photos as a kid where you’re running around outside in a pair of pants and there’s a rickety old paddling pool nearby? And if you had a sibling, you nostalgically remember what an awesome time you had with them doing all sorts of crazy stuff? Or during the summer holidays you remember the best time EVER with your friends being really silly in the garden?

Yeah, I hope my boys can do that one day.

#TrackOfTheDay

All I’m gonna say is this.

When your kidlets are on school holidays, you do what you can to stay one step ahead of the game. And it seems my brain has laid down the gauntlet – composing train tracks in my head when The Smalls aren’t even around. (In bed, in the car, quite often whilst avoiding paying attention to something.)

And even worse, I get pissy if I build an awesome track, but don’t get to take the photo before The Smalls destroy it. I need another hobby, and sharpish.

(And no, Tiny Tower does not count – what is UP with that lifetime consuming, child neglecting, suck you into a mental hole of time/space continuum craziness? Download at your peril. In fact, don’t download it, because you’ll see multi coloured pixels whether your eyes are open or closed. And I’m blaming @LauraAWNTYM for that one.)

Now if someone could please make it stop, that would be great.