You know…I was going to vlog this, but quite frankly it was all over so quickly, I barely had time to turn the camera on.

A PR company got in touch asking if The Smalls wanted to review (another) app. I’m starting to get a bit twitchy about it, but that’s mostly because they’re getting too familiar with my Apple goods.

MY Apple goods.

I’m all for education.

But the Apple goods are MINE.

Anyway…

This one was In The Night Garden. They sent me the code and I downloaded it to my iPhone and iPad (omg did I mention I have an iPad? I have an iPad. No wait… I have an iPad 2. There’s a difference. It’s quite delicious. The iPad is delicious, not the difference. This could be a whole other post) where the app sat waiting for the right moment to trial on the kiddo.

There was no way Noah was going to play it. No chance; I think he’s well and truly done with all ITNG has to offer. Can’t say I blame him; he’s 3 years going on 13. Isaac, however, still seems to love ITNG, so he became the guinea pig.

He spent the first 30 seconds mashing the screen, looking for the interactive bits. He didn’t get many.

90 seconds later, he handed me the iPad, sighed, and wandered off into the garden. (A real live garden, one which needn’t be contained on an iPad…just saying…)

To say he was disappointed was an understatement. The activities are as follows:

I didn’t get as far as “Options” or “More Fun”. The point of iPhone and iPad apps is interactivity, for kids in any case. So when he discovered that hardly any of the screen was interactive (especially the “Dancing!” game, whereby you have to just watch what happens without actually doing anything), he got bored. Really quick. Why have this, when he can watch the big stuff on the TV? This is quite possibly the most dull app I’ve seen, and Isaac’s behaviour clearly showed this. In fact, I suspect the conversation could have gone as follows:

Me: Look Isaac! In The Night Garden! On my iPad! MY iPad! I love you, son.

I: …oooo looky greasy fingers shiny screen *poke poke* oooo look In The Night Garden is it time for me to poop yet SHINY!

Me: Ok, look, that screen doesn’t actually do anything…

I: *prod prod* this isn’t doing anything and why is she just singing at me why is she not moving on the screen mom why can’t I get her to move?

Me: Ok Isaac, just – look! Look, Upsy Daisy’s bed is um, “hidden” behind that bush. Look, touch it and -

I: *stab stab* Mom Upsy Daisy is on the screen and she’s not doing anything why mom why mom look I’m stabbing her and she’s just standing there saying her name over and over again and yeah seeya.

Me: Ooooo look! INFINITY BLADE…

** The “In The Night Garden” app was sent to use for free under the agreement that it would be reviewed on this blog. You can download it from iTunes for 59p. Or you can go find a better app, probably for free.