They fill you with dread, right? School holidays. 2 Little People running around whom you have to feed and entertain, and (apparently) in a responsible fashion. I took extra measures to survive. I’m pretty fucking proud of my methods.
Monday – I went full-on hands-on mom. They painted, played tunnels, cars, tents, went for a walk – we were on FIRE. However, this is NOT the time to start potty training. That’s just stupid.
Because he will poop in his nappy as soon as you put it on. Of course.
Took them to Wagamama for lunch. Yes, on a Bank Holiday. AND WE SURVIVED. We parked in a car park which was empty, while everyone else queued to get into one that was full. I am yet to understand this. We sauntered straight in, served immediately, started eating.
About 20 minutes in, there was a queue of around 50 people waiting to be seated. I sat there smugly while we casually ate our food.
Then came the crucial part to surviving the week – CRUCIAL – I met up with my sister-in-law and we consumed 2 bottles of wine each. I remember strolling home at 3:30am with Lotso Huggin’ Bear (a much loved and appreciated gift from her) clasped firmly in my crispy aromatic duck-scented fingers. I awoke Tuesday morning to find Lotso firmly rammed under my chin and the desire to drink a bath full of water.
Tuesday – Hmmm…Tuesday is vague to me. I was still drunk. Though I do remember sleeping on the sofa while the in-laws made their weekly visit to see the boys. I didn’t drink any wine that day. But I’m pretty sure I was still drunk that evening. Either way, the boys were awesome with each other.
Wednesday – Still a little hazy, but again, I was helped with the weekly visit from my mom. Go play in the garden (thank you sunshine). She wrestled with them, they wore themselves out, wolfed down the EASIEST prawn and pea risotto. They spent the afternoon watching what I thought was going to be my “Emergency Entertainment Source” – the Tangled DVD, which I’d got on standby. I let them watch it anyway. The credits weren’t even finished and they demanded to watch it again. Who am I to argue? It’s a bloody good film, dammit.
Accompanied, of course, with a picnic tea on the lounge floor when their dad got home.
Thursday – Well Isaac goes to nursery so it’s just me and Noah. Which means…. LEGO.
And not the pieces the size of a house, no. The cool stuff that makes you scream every fucking obscenity under the sun if you step on one with bare feet. And it’s TOY STORY Lego. I want to go and get more of it. For Noah. Obvs. Noah and I also met up with The Mr for lunch – a STEAK pub. A pub which serves almost nothing but STEAKS. Big slabs of MEAT. Served with MEAT. And chips. And MEAT. My kinda place really.
And then clearly half term realised I was actually having a brilliant week, because now the painters are in and holy crap do I have the cramps. But that’s ok because:
Friday – I no longer give a shit because I’ve buggered off to Devon to “Rock The Frock“. See ya on Sunday, innit?
