“Geeze, men are so bloody useless, aren’t they? Can’t look after kids, can’t lok after a house, rubbish with chores, claim they’re dying when they’re ill…blah blah blah…”
Oscar. Mike. Golf.
If you don’t like men, go find a planet where you can procreate without them and stop bloody whining.
I recently had a PR email talking about “Man flu” and how pathetic men are for it. Picking up Isaac from school recently, they asked how come he’d changed so much in the last few weeks. When I told them I had been away and his dad had been looking after them both, they immediately started on about how useless men are and husbands can’t do squat and OMFG SHUT UP. I get so sick of hearing wives, mothers, girlfriends, women in general, whoever, constantly taking a pop at men. Personally? I LOVE men. Like, actually love them. My life would be considerably dull without them.
I suppose in this instance though, I’m referring to a selection of men whom I know personally.
My husband, for one. The Mr, or known in this house as “D”.
He’s awesome. If anyone ever dares to bitch about him, they have me to answer to. End of. The only person allowed to bitch about him is me. And that’s the law. No, his mother is not allowed to bitch about him. The end.
I could list a string of faults, but in case many had forgotten, like (most) other men, HE IS A HUMAN BEING. I suspect he might be turning into a woman though, because the other day he sent me to Sainsbury’s to buy us wine and a box of Thorntons chocolates, just so we could sit and devour them in front of the TV. No special occasion, but jus’ cos’. (We didn’t finish them, but we had a bloody good go, that’s for sure.)
But we can over look that! Especially because he cooks. And not just meals out of a jar, no. He’ll do a full Sunday roast. Voluntarily. And he does practically ALL the laundry, and will do the dishes without me asking. Sometimes he even cleans the bathroom. INCLUDING THE TOILET.
Ok, yeah, so he often spends more time in the bathroom than me, but that’s partly my fault (when we met, his “beauty” regime was a bar of Imperial Leather and a skanky old bottle of Head and Shoulders. That may have expanded to a much finer range of bathroom toiletries. Dammit.) yet I don’t regret it. At least he’s CLEAN.
And you know what else? HE HAS A PENIS. No offence, friends of Dildo Bob, but that’s better than the majority of alternatives. I laugh at women bitching about their husbands because I want to say “fine! Ditch him then. And lets see how long it takes you before you decide that plastic cock under your bed just ain’t cutting it. Literally.” Still there, eh? Yeah I thought so. Along with that penis? Big cuddly arms, with hands on the ends for groping stuff. Quite frankly? It’s always nicer when someone else is doing the groping. Especially when they know what they’re doing.
Truth is, we (women) often grab a chance to take a swipe at the “stupidity of men”. And if I’m honest, yes there are some blokes out there that make me want to pray to the Baby Jesus for the survival of the human race. But you know what? There’s a fair few women out there who make me want to slit my wrists, while singing nursery rhymes to Lucifer himself, and hoping he might make me an ice lolly of some sort. You want to jump on the train of women going around verbally bashing men? Fine! Feel free. There really are some utterly epic bastards out there.
But I won’t be joining you in shouting derogatory statements about men in general. No, I’ll be busy listening to the men in my life saying nice things and watching them being all gorgeous and stuff. Whilst I avoid cleaning the toilet.
Hah.
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Bloody brilliant. I am right behind you on this one.
HUZZAH! *fist bump and pump*
I'm with you.
Just recently I wrote on my blog about why I think it's ultimately harmful to women to perpetuate this nonsense. Even leaving aside the fact that we should know better than to judge someone based on their gender, when we give rubbish men a get out clause and make good men feel unappreciated as human beings, all that happens is that we end up having to do everything and be told we're failing at 'having it all'!
There are great people, okay people and shit people. Lumping the whole of one group together and sticking them in a certain category should be beneath any sensible person.
My husband is a proper equal partner at home and doesn't expect cookies for that. (Sometimes he gets them anyway, cos I feel like it).
Here's to decent people… whatever they have in their pants.
Exactly!!! We're all human, and god knows we ALL have our flaws, male OR female. And yeah, sometimes it's nice to give our men cookies when they've been good. Mmmm…cookies…
I love men! My hubby is fab but of course he drives me insane sometimes LOL. If men were like us women we'd get fed up pretty quickly!
EXACTLY!!!!!
Wait – you were "sent" to the shop? I hope you went voluntarily and that was just a slip?
Ahahahah! Yes I was sent – because he was busy doing pan-fried duck breasts and steamed veg for tea. Oh hell yes.
My hubby is great, he cooks and helps clean, yes he can have man flu and leave his clothes lying about but he does his fair share and give me a big hug when I am down. I wouldn't have it any other way. x
You're right. It's easy to get caught up in the stereotypes and generalizations. But I hate to be classified as a "chick" or a "girl" though actually I don't mind being called a "broad." Vive le difference!
I couldn't agree more! I'm positive I wouldn't have made it this far without my husband. (He does most of the laundry and is definitely the better cook) He's my best friend and we're a team when it comes to this parenting thing. Hearing women bad mouth men for no reason really makes my blood boil. Most of the time, I can't help but wonder what kind of masochist (or saint) has ended up with the woman doing the moaning and making the ridiculuous jokes. Yes. I love men too.I couldn't agree more! I'm positive I wouldn't have made it this far without my husband. (He does most of the laundry and is definitely the better cook) He's my best friend and we're a team when it comes to this parenting thing. Hearing women bad mouth men for no reason really makes my blood boil. Most of the time, I can't help but wonder what kind of masochist (or saint) has ended up with the woman doing the moaning and making the ridiculuous jokes. Yes. I love men too.