Noah is in “foundation” at school. He has been given phonics to learn since the day he started foundation. I vowed I would never, ever be That Pushy Parent. In fact, I read an article in the Daily Mail recently* which left me thinking what in the name of Lucifer are these people thinking? Why would they push their kids so insanely hard? Are they mentalists? Shall I get off my high horse now?
And I remember saying to myself “fuck that, no way am I pushing my kids that hard.”
This morning, Noah is home because he was working on his Bodily Orifice Fluid (BOF) yesterday, and so isn’t allowed to go to school. Me? I would have sent him. It’s only because he ate a gallon of fruit for breakfast and then continued to shovel food down his gullet the entire day, why we had expulsions. He was perfectly fine in himself, no complaints of aches or pains at all. So this morning I was still asking D if he was going to school.
What? I didn’t want him to miss out. Or something.
I thought maybe I was being a little bit pushy, so I let it go. Y’know, other parents would be pissed if he went in and suddenly pebble dashed the entire classroom, right? Right.
What I DIDN’T see coming, was me lying in bed thinking about getting his cello out so he can have a play. I thought that could be his musical fix, EVEN THOUGH he played on my piano last night for 15 minutes AND regularly sings songs throughout the week anyway. Not even out of bed and already planning a school day. I decided to move on, but hadn’t predicted putting on a counting and maths DVD (WHUT? It was Mickey Mouse. STFU.) quickly followed by working through a couple of pages in his maths books while I downloaded more numbers and letters apps for my iPad. I gave him a pot of crayons to attempt to write some letters and numbers. After that, I gave him his phonics cards to play around with where he casually breezed through the 19 letters he knows so far.
I swear to god, it wasn’t planned. But the fear of him falling behind from just one day off from school seemed to have permeated my brain, leaving me a shell of my former, slightly normal self, and instead there was this crazed parent, determined to get her nearly 4 year old doing quantum physics by the end of the day.
What the fuck happened? He is not even FOUR, for crying out loud. He fidgets like crazy every time I sit him down to do this stuff, and sometimes he freezes over completely when he sees the books or cards or whatever sitting on the counter. Can I blame the kid? No. Do I blame myself? Partly. And the school? Also partly. I don’t like reading his Reading Diary and seeing “Noah still doesn’t know “b”, please keep practising at home.” What in the hell do you think we’re doing? Do you not think he tries? Did it never occur to you that maybe he’s just a fraction slower than the other kids?
Not everyone is a genius.
The very fact that Noah even KNOWS the phonic sounds for 19 letter of the alphabet, pleases me immensely. He is so not stupid. I’ve never known any kid ask so many questions, and repeats the answers back to us some weeks later (after no recap). I need to give him a break. Which will happen as soon as the teachers give me a break. Sometimes a kid wants to come home from school and just be a kid. That’s no crime. Now, as soon as I can wake the fuck up and ensure that is actually happening here at home, that will be sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.
Now excuse me, Mickey Mouse is counting something else on Disney Jnr, and I need to make sure Noah is paying attention.
* Please don’t hate me The Mr sent it and I didn’t know what it linked to and I suddenly found myself on the site and I didn’t mean to be there but it just happened it was an accident I’m sorry it’s his fault.
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Every parent wants their child to succeed and not fall behind. It's hard not to be the pushy parent but it's all about balance learning and play and when you mix both it's a win win. x
See I thought I was a pushy parent but don't now I've read this :p
My just turned 4 yr old is begging for homework and I've been told is good at maths so going to get one with the stars in.
My 8 yr old I'm trying to get to read more ready for the 11+
My 14 yr old is getting 100% in maths so doing his GCSE this year (early) & pretty much good at everything.
You must be very proud – I'm impressed.
From what you say, it doesn't sound like Noah is remotely behind the average kid – it sounds like he's doing really well! Jonah didn't start school till he was 4-and-a-bit and he's one of the youngest in his class. We have various letters and words to help him with but the school have made clear that, at his stage/age, we should only do things if he is interested and keen. Days off for us are for Mario Kart wii and jumping in muddy puddles! From everything I've heard about Noah he's bright so he'll have no problem learning things in his own time. Don't let the school pressure you – I'd trust your instincts over theirs any day.