Dear So and So…Wicked Week Edition

NOTE – had a wanky week? Read this.

Dear Little Small

OMFG you know the phonic sounds for half the alphabet already? Please don’t be more intelligent than me (although not difficult) because I will never keep.

You should also remember you’re only 2 and a half, you have plenty of time. And please put that book down and stop looking like a smart ass.

Love, Your Mother (insanely proud and a little terrified.)

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Big Small

Knowing all your phonics sounds AND being able to read more than 10 words AND repeatedly being complimented on your school behaviour, is actually the bomb-diggedy. Given your speech stress we had, and the constant wonder in my mind if we would ever have a conversation with you, well, you’ve pretty much blown all that shit out of the water. In fact, we pretty much can’t get you to STFU and your questions…well. I don’t think I need to buy Isaac an encyclopaedia, because quite frankly, he’ll have you instead.

Love, Your Mother (insanely proud and planning to do more GCSE’s and A Levels.)

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Work*

ZOMG. Just as I’m on the verge of writing a really fucking whiny post about how life sucks and how I have no energy to do any more and how start-up business is quite possibly the one thing that will kill me, I get my wedding photography featured on TWO BLOGS in ONE DAY, get an order from a client which involves 130 prints (yes, from one client), plus asked by the school headmaster’s wife to photograph people for the school fayre and Santa’s Grotto, plus kicking SEO and Google Adwords in the BALLS (cahoonas, testicles, nuts, plums, crown jewels, happy-sacks, scrotes, two-veg, , , , , , , , , , , , … you see what we did there?), plus finally being set on all my logo designs, plus more client enquiries, plus omg I have done all of this from scratch with the help of some people whom I would sleep with in a heartbeat (and one of them I actually do sleep with)…

Yeah, you’re pretty sweet right now.

Bittersweet-exhausted love, Jay Mountford, Birmingham Wedding Photographer

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear The Mr

Happy 5 years of marriage. I fucking love you, I do. Maybe we will have sex tonight (or not, depending on how much champagne we get through during our fancy meal tonight. Drunken fumblings, I suspect. Our two gorgeous children pretty much exhaust me).

Much, MUCH love , The Mrs xxx

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Finances

C’mon people, c’mon…I just need you to place those big orders you’re talking about in the next week so I can afford to buy a Christmas card…c’mooonnnn….

Yours, truly skint, Jay

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

Dear Readers

FUCK YEAH.

* Yes I know it’s riddled with SEO. Fucking obvious, innit? Duh.