I was going to let this post go. I wasn’t going to do this one. But after I received a tweet last night which read:
“fuck you black cunt. Nigger go pick my cotton whore”
I thought “yeah…maybe I will write about racism and ting.” (Ironically, after I flagged it up to twitter, said tweeter has not only deleted the tweet, but also changed their name. Hacked account or not, I should think comments like that are unacceptable, no?)
A while ago on twitter, I asked people if they found words like “darky” and “honky” offensive. Me? I don’t find them offensive. In fact, I don’t find many words to describe someone’s race or colour offensive. It takes a LOT for me to be offended. Growing up, I was called just about every “offensive” name under the sun. The words were offensive because they were MEANT to be offensive.
Much like that tweet at the top of this post.
I confess I laughed when tweeters said their grannies and granddads used terms such as “jungle bunny”; I laugh because I knew they weren’t being offensive intentionally; much of it comes through ignorance (and generations of what they’ve known and grown up with). Of course, my guess is that none of my friends today would call me a jungle bunny. Would I be offended? I honestly don’t know. Probably not, because I know it would either be ignorance or jest in context.
Should I be offended?
..well that’s a whole other thing. I probably should, if we are to stamp out racism and educate the masses.
I shrug off so much of it now, because it’s almost second nature to me. The ignorance of others, that is. My “favourite” subjection to racial ignorance was while doing classical performances as principal cellist with youth orchestras. Lovely little white ladies would be coming up to me, asking “so, tell me, what’s it like being the only black person in the orchestra?” Or another favourite, whilst pointing to a small huddle of black people sitting at the back of the audience (whom I’d never met in my life), “ahhh that’s so lovely, you have your family here with you. They look just like you!”
Ignorance is an amazing thing.
I couldn’t be offended. Even at 13 years old, I would laugh it off. I had no choice, did I? How was I to explain the extent of that kind of ignorance to someone in the short space of a 20 minute interval (during which, I would much rather go off and practice a hideous solo to be performed in the second half)?
Something else which was flagged up during the twitter discussion is the use of the term half caste. I use it all the time. However, friends and strangers have told me I shouldn’t use the term. The internet says this:
Web definitions:
an offensive term for the offspring of parents of different races or cultures.
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Doesn’t say why it’s offensive though. (I should stress at this point, I already know the meaning of the term half caste; I was curious to see what other people knew). Many thought the term offensive, but actually didn’t know why they thought it offensive. Amusingly, I don’t find it offensive, because I find it to be very true. Caste is the Latin for “pure”. Half is pretty self explanatory.
Half pure – surely that makes sense? My kiddos are neither pure black, nor pure white? They’re not purely Jamaican, or British, are they? And neither am I for that matter? So how can I take offence? How can I be offended by the truth?
Some tweeters mentioned that they did not like describing black people as “black”, as they saw no need to refer to their race. Soooo…I’m in a room full of white women, all the same age, size, height, wearing exactly the same clothes – hell, they all have dreads like me too. How would you pick me out now? “The one who is from a different country than the other ladies”? (Which might not necessarily be true; genetic skin pigmentation could really screw things up for you…) I’m pretty sure that I am black, and the rest of the women are white. Why would one be uncomfortable to use this as a reference to pick me out from the others?
One would be uncomfortable because that’s what they’ve been taught. My guess is, they wouldn’t actually know why it’s supposedly offensive. It’s not offensive, by the way.
Aside, I tell you what single racially descriptive term I cannot STAND – “coloured”. For the sake of fuck – I am NOT coloured. In fact, with all due respect, white people are more coloured than me.
Embarrassed = pink
Sick = green
Dead = purple/grey
Cold = blue
Hot = red
Frightened = white
Tanned = orange *snort*
And ironically, white people will then go to some fucking extreme lengths to be brown. Almost as dark as me. Black.
I’ll ask you to stop and think about all those colours for a moment. Because what’s really funny, is I’ve only been one colour my whole life. And also? I’m not an “outline” who has been “coloured in”. Geeeeeeeze.
As my kiddos grow up (assuming they make it to their 4th and 5th birthdays, because they’re driving me batshit, bless them), I would hope that when they are subjected to racial slurs (notice “when”, not “if”) they don’t fly off the handle at whomever is speaking to them. I would hope that they are able to address the person in question, highlight their ignorance and flag it for future reference. I also hope that they understand why the person said what they said.
Understanding racial slurs and other such vitriolic behaviour like that in last night’s tweet, is actually the biggest step to lessening racism. Stop being offended and upset (I wasn’t upset last night, but I was cross; there is a difference which is important), open your eyes and see what is happening, and try to understand it. And then when you understand why people are being racist, unintentionally or not, educate them.
Until then, I’m going to take my non-pure Jamaican, part Indian ass out of here, and go feed my non-pure Jamaican/Indian/British kids before I go insane.
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I've never had to deal with racial abuse, although I get a fair bit of regional abuse (being a Scouser an' all) but I did grow up with a very bigoted and racist dad. Yep, he used all the 'unsavoury' terms you can imagine and didn't spare anyone's blushes.
I've brought my girls up to respect people irrespective of race (although I also hate that term, aren't we all the same race = human?), religion, sexuality and nationality but I agree that the semantics can be tricky.
I don't use coloured, darkie, half-caste or any other dodgy terms or anything else like that. I would describe you as black the same way you would describe me as white. I'd prefer you didn't call me honky
You know, I sometimes think people use the "unsavoury terms" just to provoke a reaction (which in my opinion seems to route back to the whole "ignorance" thing), and that DOES drive me nuts.
I don't refer to any of my white friends as anything other than white; unless it's clear that they are on the same wavelength as me, iyswim. And I sure as hell wouldn't go on twitter and throw out something like "honky bitch. milky bar go back to slave trading what you do best" because that's all kinds of wrong.
Respect is a big thing. And I happen to respect my lovely friends (like yourself), that's for sure. xx
I love you.
I agree totally with the post – it's not the word it's the intent and the majority of intelligent people can see the difference. I wish there was less ignorance and less nastiness though.
I am (mildly) disabled and refer to myself as a 'cripple' is that offensive? well no obviously I'm using it in jest – could it be? Yes if someone intended it to be. But then Loads of words could be offensive if used as an insult..even 'bacon lover' …. OK maybe not
(I used to call my brother Cranny Bottom when we were kids it was the WORST insult and he hated it)
We had a big debate on a forum recently about what is offensive and what is an insult. Whether it is ginger hair, black skin, welsh accent etc, when someone wants to insult you they will pick out something that they believe makes you different from them. They will then qualify with an accentuating term to turn it into an insult "stupid welshie" "fucking ginge" and you can choose to take offence at all or part of their insult. Of course you can also choose to feel sorry for them for being so scared of the differences and ignore it. It's a matter of choice. After all, if the best that someone can do to insult you is point out a blatantly obvious fact and stick a swear word in front of it then you have to feel pretty sorry for them.
*applause* that's what I wanted to say and failed. Very succinct.
Typing this on a phone, so probably won't say everything I'd want to say on the subject, (and most if it has already been said) but it also made me think of a recent post by Dirty Little Whispers, where she mentioned how she could not understand how some things submitted to the everyday sexism project would be considered offensive. I guess there are some things that most people consider offensive, then there are a whole plethora of things that one person may find offensive, whereas others may not, and you don't necessarily know where the line is with someone. I can therefore understand why some people go too far the other way, and are overly cautious. Political correctness in extreme, if you like.
(p.s. I can still call you a sexy bunny though, right?)
People are twats. You rock. That is all.
Kate hits the nail on the head. They are twats and you do rock. x
I am still so gobsmacked by people, I would have been livid and I'm glad your response was one of anger rather than upset. Anyway, beautifully written post.
x
Perhaps it's because I'm in the States and the racism here is unbelievable but it upsets me so much. It isn't even addressed to me (for the most part) and yet it really, really affects me. How can people be so mean?
Of the people who dislike Obama because of his colour (and I personally believe that that's about 70% of his non-fans), a lot of them hate him even more because he's a half-breed, as they call it. My husband is from the South and he explained that a half-breed is often seen as even worse than a black person.
I think the only thing that would keep me going if I were the subject of the racism is that fact that the people saying the shit are the worst examples of humankind ever. The fact that they can feel superior while themselves being the scum of the earth is strangely amusing to me. Sadly, they're too thick to see the irony. xx
I wish I had had the balls to write this – over the last 22 years I've had all kinds of stupid said to me about the boys and always asked about the size of their fathers genitals…oh mahoosive of course.
Mostly I've ignored it, sometimes I've taken the piss and they were too dumb or shocked to reply. Other times I've just taken my half welshie, sheep loving, part spicky ass home with my half caste children and got on with our lives.
Ignorance is one thing, prejudice and rudeness need a slap.
Our neighbours are black. They're still English, they just have black skin. The neighbours we had before them were gay. Weirdly, I feel happier describing someone as black, than I do saying they're gay. And I have a gay brother, o I'm allowed. Actually not so weird, and you can't SEE gay (mostly
) so it's not a good description. But black is – and white is equally so. Not better or worse, it's just a description. I'm glad you're happy to say it. I'm still shocked there are *s (sorry, had to delete that one) about who say it as an insult. Pathetic. Fab telling it like it is, thanks.
My little Aaron is mixed race (half Nigerian half Irish) and I hate the term half caste (always have). You made me stop and think when you gave the definition but I still don't like it. He is PURE – pure human and I love him to bits.
I agree, I have always hated the term coloured even back when it was used a lot in the 70s.
In London, it hasn't been used in decades but occasionally people in Ireland still say it and I cringe! When my own Mother says it I give her a good telling off and remind her she lived in London for 20 years before moving back.
Great post
Liska x
We are a lot more sensitive about words describing race and ethnicity in the US. So much that Americans are stumped by what to call British(or non American) black people. I have often heard people refer to black Brits as "British 'African Americans'?!?!"
Great post. I don't think it's the words as such that are offensive (certainly not the simple word "black"), but the conotations that people often attatch to them. Of course, if you are in a room full of white people, I would tell somebody that you were the black lady. Just as I would tell them that somebody was the blonde one, if everyone else in the room was brunette. And that is what I try to teach my children – skin colour is a physical attribute, nothing more, nothing less. I have dark blonde hair, green eyes and white skin. You have black hair, brown eyes and (as Toby would say) dark brown skin. Neither of these statements say anything about us as people.