Hmmm. Having spent much of the summer holidays freaking the fuck out, I decided to call the school for which Noah was 1st on the list AGAIN on Friday. Hoping for an update. They advised us that someone else and moved into the area closer to the school than ourselves, and so therefore they are at the top now. We asked about appealing; so far NO ONE has ever won an appeal. Shortly after that conversation, I spent a good few moments crying and throwing up.
That afternoon, we trekked over to a small village about 7 miles, to the only school anywhere near us with spaces. As of last Friday, around 4:30pm, both of my boys finally had a school to go to. YAY! Small problem. It’s 7. Miles. Away. Even better, it’s not even the same school which Isaac is at. That’s 2 miles away. And not even in the same direction.
We walked around, the secretary talked my ear off, Noah prodded and pointed at everything, and talked to the last of the staff who were still there. They seemed lovely, the school seems lovely, everything seems nice…but all weekend I have had this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have no idea how to make this work, and the sense of overwhelming panic is scaring me shitless.
I wasn’t going to blog this morning, but I have woken up with a fear so bad, I could happily go and empty my stomach. I’ve had weird dizzy spells and flushes over the last 2 months, and this morning everything feels even worse. Everything should be fine; everything should be sorted now. And yet I have this unease.
I’ve looked at the timings, and the school run, and routes, and I have no idea how I am going to make this work. Isaac’s gates open at 8:30. Unfortunately, for the whole of Isaac’s first week last week, they never once opened on time, instead opening between 8:35 and 8:40. Interestingly, Noah’s school starts at 8:40, and he must be there by 8:50. The drive from one school to the other is approximately 17 minutes.
I’m hoping I’m just being thick, but the maths here tells me that’s not possible to accomplish without one or the other being very late.
So the obvious solution is to send Isaac to the same nursery as his brother, eh?
No can do. They only operate half day; I cannot afford the petrol or time to drop Noah off, come home, go back to drop off Isaac (they only have afternoons available) come home, then go back at the end of the day to pick them both up.
Sitting here with The Smalls playing in front of me; I am currently on the verge of what I think might be a panic attack. All I want to do is cry, throw up and stop myself from shaking rather a lot.
I can’t see how I am going to do this for a year. I can’t see how it is going to work. I don’t understand how I will get any work done, by pretty much driving back and forth, waiting in car parks and screaming at traffic. I understand there are plenty of other parents who deal with this situation, but I am not one of them. For me this isn’t just about The Smalls being in school; this is all about having no idea about how the fuck I am going to fit everything into the 19 hour window currently available to me. 19 hours is LOADS of time!! (Said in my best Nanny Plum voice) Unfortunately, most of that time is wasted and lost, and the actual number of those hours spent working, happen well beyond 11pm.
I have a fear. I fear I will break. I fear I will lose track, be unable to do everything and just break. The sense of panic is right there, in my stomach, and I have to make a conscious effort to breathe firmly and stop it from rising. I know I can write to-do lists until they come out of my ears; but I know I will let The Smalls down at some point; get something spectacularly wrong; forget something essential, be late every single day…this was not the start I wanted for my children.
I worked hard for the best start I could, and instead I’ve failed them. They’re in schools miles apart (Isaac spent the first week being tearful when he realised he wasn’t with me or Noah), one of them will always be late, I don’t know how to keep working on top of it all, I don’t see when I am to spend time with them, I can’t afford the petrol (there is no school transport service), I am bound to pack their bags wrong and I am panicking.
And this scenario would appear to be the case for the next year. But it’s ok, because I’m happy about it. Right?
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Ok Lady, firstly hugs, what a horrible, shitty position to be in but you can bet your bottom dollar that the county council won't care as they have "sorted the problem". Can you find Isaac and nursery closer to home? If the school is right for Noah the it is more important that he starts his education rather than Isaac who is only nursery age.
You can put Isaac into ANY nursery (presuming he is at the age of getting the 15 hours free) so is there one closer to Noah's school – what is the feeder preschool/private nursery???? Or, even one closer to home.
Would that work???
(((HUGS)))
suggestions-
1 go back into appeals. This is NOT a reasonable situation and you have a case to appeal.
2 talk to both schools involved and explain the situation, so they can both be accomodating to you dropping off early or late. Most schools are sympathetic to such awful situations & will do what ever they can to help.
3 keep blogging, tweeting and talking about it – it's better out than in and someone somewhere has been here before & might have helpful suggestions!
more (((HUGS))) for you
I just wanted to send some hugs and support. I'm in a similar situation and spend the majority of my day waiting around to transport children from one place to the next, while at the same time trying not to get fired from my job which is 35miles in the opposite direction. I haven't eaten a meal not in my car in over a month. It's awful. And this is my life until June. Just taking it one day at a time and realizing I am only human and if I forget something or fuck up at work a little, it's not the end of the world. Hugs…just breathe.
Have you contacted your local paper about this? It's an absolute outrage!
Also, could a childminder help? To take one child to school, or look after your little one instead of a nursery? Is moving Isaac to the same school an option? Is there a breakfast club at either school?
I'm sure you've probs already thought of all this….
Wow! I feel this post. This was me some years back. At the time, the sense of panic and how on earth we were going to do this was beyond me. Children had a spate where their schools were 30 miles apart. I didn't drive, Bronnie was often away with his job. I had a demanding job which I couldn't work around the children. Then we got a driver..more juggling money we didn't have…then the driver didn't work out because they smoked, or stole from me (yep), or didn't like children, or were dangerous drivers…on and on and on. The horrible part was stuffing down reservations initially because you knew you HAD to make the thing work. Then common sense prevailed, sackings happened, panic set in until the next solution.
But you know, Jay, somehow the days pass. You get through it. And then years later when your children are grown you get to tell a friend they will get through it knowing how hard they will find that to believe.