Remember those posts I used to write a little while ago where I was spiralling in to depression again, and was terrified I couldn’t get out of the pattern? Yeah? Noticed how I haven’t done one of those posts for a while? Yeah? Notice how on twitter, if you follow me, I’ve been borderline nauseatingly happy and chirpy 95ish% of the time? Yeah?
Well I changed a few things.
Well actually I changed one thing: I stopped taking the pill. I know some of you had previously said that the pill is a major mojo killer – I totally agree. But what I hadn’t anticipated finally going back on to Cerazette after I finished nursing Isaac (over 4 years since I stopped taking it?), was that it was slowly destroying me. My cycles were so heavy it was ridiculous, the pain often left me feeling crippled, and the spiralling…oh my God, the spiralling.
I’d never had PMT before, and for me to have to go to the doctor because I was scared of what I was going to do to myself or my kids every month was enough to make me get over to her sharpish. I hated not wanting to live any more, I hated what the chemical and emotional processes were doing to me and the endless guilt from the hurt I was causing my family was just too much to bear.
Doc was surprised to hear about what was happening; Cerazette is a very adaptable pill apparently, and works wonders with the majority of women. I can’t take any other pills as a migraine sufferer, so this was my only weapon of choice. Looking back? I should probably have just abstained entirely since I started taking it again. We talked through my options and briefly discussed PMDD. She gave me a chart and stuff to fill in so we could monitor what was happening, but quite frankly? I’d had enough. I stopped the pill the following morning, when I was due on.
That was 2 cycles ago. I’m hideously irregular (I used to be so clockwork I could probably have timed it down to the hour) but Jesus, that depression shit? NOTHING like what I used to have. I’m not saying I’m “cured”, by any means; I still need to find a contraception that works for us (currently looking at the coil now, any thoughts? Have you tried it? Good bad?) and having had the implant previously, well, let’s just say that gaining over a stone in weight, losing handfuls of hair and being so vile with PMT it’s a wonder divorce wasn’t on the cards, just doesn’t really appeal to me, you know?
I’m now into my third cycle. My mojo is returning (slowly but surely – it’s been a long time, ok?), I couldn’t tell you how long this cycle will last (a 37 day cycle can really shit a person up. Thank god for those old spare pregnancy tests, eh?) and condoms are really, really (REALLY) dull, but I’m finally starting to feel human. I DO feel human. There’s a haze that’s been lifted from my head, and it’s nice to be able to see again.
What hormone contraception do you use and how has it affected you? Have you seen the effects it’s had on others? Do you have depression and how do you manage it with your cycles? Maybe you’re a bloke and you’ve seen the effect it’s had on your missus – how did you/she deal with it? Would love to know your thoughts!
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I have an IUD called Mirena which is nice, but I have heard complaints by other users. Don't know what else to recommend since this has worked for me for nearly 4 years. I am glad you are finding your mojo and glad you are feeling better. ((((BIG GIGANTIC HUGS))))
YES. I've heard Mirena mentioned, and even the doc spoke about it too. 4 years of success has to be a good thing though (if I get it, and still fall preggers, I'm sending the kid to you. Just saying.)
x
Only if it is a boy. I am so done with girls.
…I'll think about it.
Can't believe I'm going to admit to this in public, but I came off the pill a year ago after 20 odd years of taking it (with, obviously, a couple of breaks to have children). Have had a copper coil since then and am very happy with it. I did consider the Mirena coil but this one is just as effective, apparently, and it means I am 'additive free' for almost the first time in my adult life. I do have heavier periods than before, yes, but no mood swings (or none that I wasn't already experiencing) and crucially, the day I stopped taking the pill, I lost my sweet tooth. Seriously. Not sure why or how that works, but it has done for me. Took a while to break the habit of comfort eating, mind you, but the craving for sweetness has gone. It's the darndest thing.
The worst thing about the whole process was when the doctor fitting the coil said to me 'Well, this one should last you ten years if you want it to, and by the looks of your file that should mean by the time it's done with, you won't need birth control anymore…' Was that really necessary?
Omg the cravings! That was so bizarre; I wasn't sure if it was pill related, but suddenly I want savoury (especially salty stuff) like it's going out of fashion. I can take or leave chocolate, biscuits, sweets…
And as for your doctor…hmm. Punch in the face, maybe?
I was prescribed Cerazette by my GP at my 6 week check and after taking it for two weeks, I became so depressed I thought | had post-natal depression- I had no feelings towards BB and felt completely numb about life. I did some googling about the mini-pill and literally found 100s of forum posts about it's negative effects on women and how it acts as a seratonin inhibitor- as soon as i stopped taking it, I started to feel like myself again- it is horrendous stuff! Why do they recommend to so many women?
I don't know. But it infuriates me that there seem to be so many of us, and yet we still seem to have so few choices. PND is the WORST; I had it without being on the pill, so lord only knows what that would have been like magnified. I'm so glad you're feeling better too!
It's a seratonin inhibitor? OK now I really want to strangle my doctor. I'm on an antidepressant to help me release MORE seratonin. Stupid bint she is. GRRRR.
LOL and also *Face-Palm re doctor*
I was on Cerazette for a couple of years because, like you, I'm a migraine sufferer. It stopped my periods completely (best thing about it, I wasn't complaining!!) but it did affect my mood. I wouldn't really describe it as feeling depressed, but I just felt like I would never cheer up. Felt like I was always hovering somewhere between happy and pissed off, and couldn't cheer up or enjoy anything. People must have thought I was a right miserable sod.
I've been off it about 9 months now, and I feel so much better, a lot happier, and I'm actually (a little bit) fun again.
Glad to see you're on the up!
x
Thank you! It's so good to hear of others on the up since they stopped taking it. I know what you mean about stopping periods – that happened to me pre-children and it's GREAT! But now…I'm not so sure it was worth it! Sure as hell won't go back again…
One word.
Vasectomy.
I never felt a thing.
LOL
I would but we're wanting to keep our options open. We've both talked about "final" options, but aren't quite ready yet, you know?
Oh you poor thing, SO glad you've got your mojo back. I had the same problem with depression being amplified at Pissy Mood Time worsened by the pill. I solved it marginally by using a hormone free coil for 10 years. But my coil migrated and I had to have it removed with anaesthetic :-/ Plus my husband could feel it (not that he's hung like a donkey or anything.)
Now I use a diaphragm. You have to use spermicide and put it in before the action takes place, which means that there's a bit less spontaneity to my rumpy pumpy but it's much nicer than rubbery old condoms.
LMAO at "Pissy Mood Time". I've heard so many stories about the coil, good AND bad, and I really can't decide which way to go. But, your husband could FEEL it? OMG ok I never contemplated that.
And, um, I need to meet your hubs. *insert disgusting joke about hanging to the left/right here*
Bwahahaha! I''ll bring him round.
So glad you're feeling better hun.
My depression gets worse around that time of the month but I haven't been on "the pill" since I was 16. I wouldn't go back on it either, I'd rather use condoms as birth control personally.
Thanks hon.
I am on Cerazette and am going to the docs this very week to change back to the combined pill.
I switched to Cerazette 3 months ago from Micronor because it was making me feel nauseous a lot of the time and since switching I’ve had a constant foul mood, awful stomach cramps and 3 periods in 2 months :s
I was on Yasmin before Dylan was concieved, Dianette before that (only for about a year as they took me off it because you’re not supposed to take it long term – WTF?!) and Microgynon before that. Before Microgynon was the Depo Provera injection, which gave me no periods at all, and 3 stone in weight which I’m still trying to lose…joy!
As you can tell, I’ve not yet found the right pill for me! After all the pills and methods of contraception I have tried (condoms eugh! No thanks…passion killer as much as they are effective, I just can’t get on with them) the combined pill works best for me. I like to know that the end of the pill sheet means a period, and if it doesn’t happen, then I know I need to get down the shop sharpish for a pregnancy test!
I hope you find the right thing for you
Hey love – so glad you're feeling better!
I used to take the pill Cilest – it was a combined hormone pill and I took it, without issue, for years.
Christmas 2004 I became unbelievably ill. I had large red lumps appear all over my arms, my legs, my shins and elbows. I was in absolute agony – so much so that I passed out with the pain on New Years day 2005. After over a month of tests I went to see my GP again. Only this time I saw a female locum. She took one look at me and told me I had developed Erythema Nodosum. One of the worst cases she'd seen. She told me to stop taking my pill so I did. Within 4 days the lumps were starting to go down and I was feeling human again.
I tried nearly every pill imaginable after that and had the same reaction every time so I was given the non hormone releasing IUD but my body consistently tried to reject it.
My GP finally settled on giving me the Implanon implant last year and it's been OK. I don't have periods at all on it but I have the most awful PMT. Oddly enough, and reading what you've put, I lose chunks of hair too, not all the time but just sometimes and I didn't know why.
I've been considering getting it removed but am at a loss as to what to replace it with
CRIKEY that is one HELL of a reaction. I'd heard about Cilest, and I gotta say, I heard NOTHING good about it. Implanon blows chunks – 10 months on that nearly broke me for sure. PMT doesn't even come close to describing the hormones, seriously, I'm amazed hubs didn't kick me the hell out. Another commenter suggested diaphragm; not great but worth a thought for you? First and foremost though, GET THEE TO A DOCTOR. Good luck babe
x
i'm glad you're feeling brighter now hunny. I'm not on the pil those reasons too, it used to turn me into a grumpy miserable mess so i stopped it too. I'm not using any contraception becuase hubby has had the snip and yes condoms are DULL! nothing kills my mojo more than a bit of latex *shudders*
Anyhoo i know people who have the coil and not had any problems so maybe its worth looking into it.
Glad you are happier and i love hearing your chirpiness n twitter love and hugs amy xxxxx
It's horrendous isn't it? Was having some of the worst depression in YEARS, hadn't had it that bad in a while. SO glad I've stopped, just need to find something else because seriously? Condoms? Erm, no.
x
I've been on the Pill for a while, Not that one (I think the brands etc are different here) but I really don't enjoy it. Being chronically shy about 'that stuff' it was only after a good friend mentioned how much better she felt on The Patch that I plucked up the courage to speak to my Doc. I've yet to fill the script (too damn busy) but I'll try and remember to come back and compare.
SO glad you're feeling better. Damn hormone and chemical imbalances! Pah…who needs em!
PS and I agree with Cate!
You know, it's such a shame that so many are so shy about this, when clearly we all have much to share with each other, hence this post, you know? From what I've read just this morning, here AND on twitter, I think the thing to do is just get it sorted as soon as poss. If nothing else, do it for the name of research and think about all those others you can help with your feedback! Good luck my lovely