NOTE – had a wicked week? Read this.
Dear Little Small
We’re all pretty much done with your whining and shit now.
Make it stop.
That is not a request.
Love, Your Mother (who knows for how much longer)
~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
Dear Big Small
As my mother used to say, “Yuh ears hole nuh bore?”
When we ask you to do something, it would be lovely if you did it first time, rather than ignoring us for the umpteenth time.
And then staring at us blankly. I vowed never to do the whole “am I speaking another language?!?” thing, and today you made me do it.
Not cool.
Love, Your Mother (plotting your eBay sale as we speak)
~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
Dear Illness
What. The. Holy. Fuck.
Are you shitting me? Like, seriously? It’s time to move on. I don’t even know what you are, but seriously. Piss. The. Piss. Off.
I’m not even going to give you the joy of closure here. Just piss off.
~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
Dear The Mr
I have absolutely no money, or strength, so I’m afraid our 5 year wedding anniversary today may be a tiny bit shit, whilst I try really hard not to complain.
The sex is going to be really dull, I’m afraid.
Love you though.
The Wife x
~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
Dear Finances
You are actually making me cry. A lot. Please stop it.
Yours, truly skint, Jay
~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~
Dear Readers
Whatevs. Go find Miss Kat and read stuff. Meh.
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Sorry to hear you're having a rubbish week! Happy anniversary!
Oh dear. This too shall pass, as they say. Happy Anniversary anyway.